Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Good/The Bad

The Good: I can't wait to wear my new wedding shoes.
The Bad: I got a little industrious with the Pedi-Egg last week. Talk about tenderfoot!

The Good: The table assignments are done.
The Bad: People who RSVP 3 days before the wedding.

The Good: I have my ring back!
The Bad: I can't wear it until Saturday.

The Good: It's supposed to be warm on Saturday.
The Bad: With a chance of storms.

The Good: I'm off work beginning at noon tomorrow.
The Bad: My to-do list is a mile long.

The Good: My wedding shape-up plan has been a success.
The Bad: Man, I miss butter.

The Good: Just three more days!
The Better: All the details will come together.
The Best: Sitting back and watching everyone having a good time.

At least, that's the plan.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Do Not Play List

We met with our DJ last night. In preparation for the meeting, he gave me a sheet to fill out, which lists important information, like the names of the bridal party and our parents, our first dance songs, our parent/child dance songs, etc. It also has a section where you list songs you want played and songs you don't want played.

I handed over the sheet to the DJ last night and he looked it over. When he got to the Do Not Play section, he said to us, "I can pretty much guarantee what songs get listed here most often - The Macarena, The Electric Slide, the Hokey Pokey, The Chicken Dance. However, you've given me a new one and I've just got to ask - why no Kokomo?"

Yes, Kokomo, by the Beach Boys. That awful song from that awful movie Cocktail where Tom Cruise had awful hair.

I despise that song. I cannot, will not, do not make me listen to it. There are very few songs in this world that provoke such a strong reaction in me.

I dislike it for several reasons - first, I hated the movie. Second, the local radio station played it every hour of every day (or at least that's how it felt). At least it seemed that way. Third, it just wasn't The Beach Boys to me - not the Beach Boys that my mom loved and played for me.

Now, I know the odds of that song being played during a wedding are slim; however, I err on the side of caution, so I made sure that our DJ knew it was banned.

The other songs on that list are All Summer Long by Kid Rock - that riff should be used for Sweet Home Alabama and nothing else; anything by Meatloaf (seriously?), and anything by Coldplay (plagiarists - I hope they had to pay Joe Satriani big money).

So, what are the songs that make you want to rip your car radio from the dash and pitch it out the window?

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

11 Days!

My dress is at the seamstress for alterations. My rings are at the jeweler to be soldered together. I miss them both. I'm not ashamed to say that about once a week, I was trying on my dress. Partially for gauging the sucess of my workout plan, but also because I just love it. If you're a fan of Friends, then you will understand when I say after the wedding I will probably wear it while sitting on the couch eating popcorn and drinking beer. If you still have your wedding dress, you're invited to come over and join me. (Confused? Watch the video below).

The programs and menu cards are DUNZO! A huge thank you goes out to my crack team of crafty ladies, who helped me assemble them, and who talked me down from the ledge when the grommets didn't perform as planned.

We still have a few minor details to work out, but for the most part, it's all starting to fall into place.



Thursday, September 3, 2009

23!

Just shy of three weeks away. I admit it - I am nervous, but it's an excited nervous, tinged with just a hint of scared. Not scared to get married, but scared something is going to go awry.

I finished up the flowers last night, and they look amazing, if I do say so myself. I kept them simple and having pre-made bouquets as a base helped immensely. My bouquet is blue hydrangeas, and the maids have ivory hydrangeas. I love the contrast of the blue on my ivory gown, and the ivory on their blue dresses.

I called to reserve the 24 rental vases for my centerpieces, and almost had a heart attack when I was told they only had 6. Luckily, there were plenty of a larger size, so now I don't have to trim down my flowers - bonus! The centerpieces are 9" glass cylinder vases, with a spray of bluebonnets anchored in blue and white glass stones, surrounded by three blue glass votives. So simple, yet so elegant. Total cost? About $5 per centerpiece.

Speaking of bargains, I was looking for a wedding-themed zip up hoodie to wear on Saturday morning while I get my hair done. I don't want to wear anything I have to take off over my head and run the risk of undoing my 'do. As I looked online, I couldn't find anything under $40. Seriously? For a sweatshirt?

I went to a craft store and found a rhinestone iron-on for $1, then I found a hoodie for $6. For that price, I went ahead and bought a few more iron-on transfers, and I'll make myself a few tank tops to wear on our honeymoon. People seem to be nicer to you when they realize you're a newlywed.

I'm looking forward to this weekend, as we have nothing wedding-related planned. I've had a great time planning and coordinating and organizing this shindig, but I think I could use a brief mental break.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

31 Days

Today is 31 days from The Big Day. I'm feeling pretty good about having a handle on the details.

I have a dress, shoes, veil, and underpinnings. The flowers are done, and the fresh flowers have been ordered. We have transportation, a photographer, music, food, and beer. Oh, and cake - yummy.

Tuxes are being ordered, attendant gifts have been purchased, and I got Craig the coolest wedding gift, but you'll have to wait to find out what that is.

Invitations have been sent and RSVP cards are being received. The table assignments are underway.

My bachelorette party was last weekend, and Craig is having his bachelor party this weekend. My bridal shower is Saturday.

We have the rehearsal dinner planned, and an officiant to officiate. We have the ceremony and the readings prepared.

I'm making my programs and menu cards in a couple of weeks. Hair and makeup appointments have been scheduled.

The honeymoon reservations are confirmed.

What did I forget?

Meet The Maid Of Honor - Heather Sievers

The counter says 31 days until the wedding. I have three bridesmaids to introduce. Let’s get to it, shall we?

Heather Sievers is my Maid of Honor. (If you’re wondering why she’s listed last, it’s because I did these alphabetically).

We have been friends for over nine years. We met while we were working at the same law firm. We also used to smoke, so we found ourselves taking a smoke break around the same times. When I first met her I thought she was really funny and looked like someone I’d want to hang out with outside work. After a few weeks of conversations at work, we made plans to go out on a Saturday night. Our friendship took off from there.

We used to take girl trips once a year. Our first trip was to Memphis, where her hair was attacked by a goat. We were sitting on a patio at a bar that had live goats behind a tall fence. The goats came up and starting nudging her arm through the bars. One of the other patrons said if we gave it beer it would leave us alone. She gave it some of the beer left in her cup, and it went away. However, a few minutes later the goat grabbed a hunk of her hair and started yanking her head against the fence, looking for more beer. I recently discovered that the bar no longer has the goats, so I immediately called her and told her we could finally go back without fear of being snatched bald. She’s still pretty mad at that goat.

Another trip was to Gatlinburg. When we picked up the keys to our cabin, there was a large sign that warned people that there were bears in the woods and not to leave food scraps in the woods or trash cans. We read it but didn’t think much of it.

Later that evening we decided to put on our swimsuits and enjoy the hot tub on the back deck. Heather prepared a lovely platter of cheese, crackers, sausage and a large bunch of green grapes. Holding the platter carefully, she stepped into the hot tub. I was applauding her grace when she missed the bottom step and dropped the whole plate into the tub. We managed to salvage the cheese and sausage and most of the grapes before they stayed too long in the water, but the crackers were a total loss.

As we moved around the tub, we’d find random grapes on the bottom of the tub, so we’d fish them out and throw them out into the woods.

The next morning we heard noises on the roof and deck. Heather was convinced it was a bear that was eating the grapes, and sent me out to investigate. It turned out to be acorns falling off the trees, but in the daylight I found more grapes in the hot tub. We also discovered that the crackers didn’t fully disintegrate but managed to coat our swimsuits with crumbs. To this day, we can’t eat crackers and cheese without laughing.

Heather has recently found true love, and also just had a daughter, Isabella. The irony is that she is engaged to Maddy’s godfather, and Heather is Maddy’s godmother. Maddy was so excited when she found out that they were together. Her fairy godparents, she calls them.
Even though we don’t work together anymore, we still manage to keep in touch, just probably not as often as we’d both like. Regardless, she’s always there for me when I need her, and I love her dearly.

Meet the Maids - Kristen Schlautman




The counter says 31 days until the wedding. I have three bridesmaids to introduce. Let’s get to it, shall we?

Kristen Schlautman is my soon-to-be-sister-in-law. She just got married this past February, and was kind enough to ask me to be a bridesmaid, and to include Maddy as a junior bridesmaid.

I almost ruined it, though. She had asked me to go to a bridal shop with her to look at some dresses. While we were browsing through the racks, I said, “I heard that you’re supposed to choose ugly people as your bridesmaids, then you’ll look twice as good!” I was totally kidding, and wasn’t even thinking she was going to ask me to be in her wedding.

A few days later we had lunch, and she asked me then. I was so surprised and so touched that she would include me and Maddy. Then she told me she had planned to ask me that day at the bridal shop, but after my ugly comment she wasn’t sure if I’d be flattered or offended.

She was sweet enough to watch Maddy for us recently while we went out. When we got home she said, “thank God you’re here, I’m exhausted!” Apparently Maddy had talked her into playing catch, kicking the soccer ball, going on a bike ride around the neighborhood, going to DQ to get some ice cream, and then throwing a racquet ball in the house. Kristen finally hid the racquet ball from her, and told Maddy to get ready for bed. Kristen said that if all kids were that energetic, she’d need to get in shape before she had any of her own.

Famous last words, because a couple of months later, she broke the news that she was pregnant. I am so excited and so happy for her. She’s going to be a fantastic mom.
She also should be a professional bridesmaid. In addition to being the bride in her own wedding in February, she was a bridesmaid in June, she'll be mine in September, one more in October, and a short break to have a baby before standing up yet again one next June. Even while she's pregnant and not feeling so hot, she's planned and participated in the required bridal events without a word of complaint, and still looks amazing.

She’s like the sister I never had but always wanted. We’ve played bingo, gone shopping, traded advice about wedding etiquette, had conversations about the importance of shoes, she’s taken care of me when I got a little, uh, inebriated, and she’s accepted me and Maddy into her life like we always belonged there.

Meet the Maids – Kristen Deterding

(Jessica in the smaller glasses, and Deter flashing the peace sign. This picture makes me laugh. Hard.)


The counter says 31 days until the wedding. I have three bridesmaids to introduce. Let’s get to it, shall we?

Kristen Deterding is our next bridesmaid. Her mom calls her Kristen, her friends call her Deter, or Ditzy Deter, and sometimes Jessica would call her DeeDee (which is also our dog’s name). But Deter doesn’t care what you call her, she’s just that laid-back.

She was one of Jessica’s best friends, and like another daughter to me. They both were beautiful, tan, blonde, scatterbrained, and ditzy. They liked the same music, movies, TV and people.

The funny thing about Jessica and Deter’s friendship is that they didn’t like each other for a long time. They first met as freshman at the high school, and although they had a few mutual friends, they just never hit it off.

In the meantime, Deter’s younger sister, Kaitlyn, and our Kelli became best friends. Being best friends required attending dances, basketball games and other social events. Jessica would usually be sweet enough to drop off Kelli, and Deter would do the same with Kaitlyn. They’d see each other, but still really never talked.

Finally, Kelli and Kaitlyn said to them, “why don’t you guys like each other?” When neither one could come up with a good answer, they started hanging out more, and within a few weeks they were inseparable.

Deter spent many nights at our house, and one instance in particular stands out in my memory. It was shortly before Jessica died. Jessica, Deter and their friend LeAnn had gone out on a Friday night. As they all had to work early Saturday morning, I half-expected them to be home at a decent hour but as they were young and energetic, they decided to push it as long as they could.

When they arrived home, they tried (unsuccessfully) to go upstairs to Jessica’s room in a quiet calm manner. There was giggling and shushing and loud whispers of “Quiet! My mom is sleeping!” Yeah, not so much anymore. When they finally arrived in her room (which was directly above my bedroom), I swore there were 12 people up there, there was that much thumping and talking.

The next morning I heard them start thumping around again, so I got up and made my special breakfast for Jessica. She loved biscuits and gravy, so I tried to make them for her on the weekends. As the girls trudged downstairs, they smelled the sausage, and started to perk up. Jessica hugged me and said “aw thanks Mom,” and Deter said, “Kim, I love you. You are the coolest mom.”

Deter has been a great source of comfort to me, whether she realizes it or not. I love hearing stories and seeing pictures that she has of Jessica and Kelli, and she keeps me up to date on what’s going on with Jessica’s other friends. I keep up with some of them still, but I’m closest with Deter.

She’s a sweetie, and I love her, and I’m so honored that she’s standing up with me.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Catching Up!

I've got to come over here more often! Now that I've realized I am just over three months out, things are starting to get busy busy!

Just this week, I ordered my bridesmaids' gifts, my veil, my shoes, and my invitations. The bridesmaid dresses came in a couple of weeks ago, and they are perfect! I'm so happy with them, and so far the bridesmaids haven't had any major fit problems.

The rehearsal dinner details are finally ironed out.

The ribbon that I bought (without my fabric swatch) matches perfectly! It was buy one, get one, and they had two rolls each of the blue and silver I needed. I took a chance and got lucky with the shade.

The flowers are in and I just need to wrap up the bouquets, literally. I'm keeping it simple and only using one type of flower, but they are so pretty. The centerpiece components are ready, except for the vases, which I am renting, and will pick up the day before the wedding, and assemble those Friday night. Hey Maddy, I've got a job for you!

I will be posting my next Meet the Maids installment this weekend.

My big news is I am picking up my dress on Saturday. I can't wait. Every time I go to the shop I "visit" the sample. But this is MY dress. No one else has worn it, and no one else will (unless Maddy wants to). I just hope it still fits.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Meet the Maids - Tawnya


Oh look, it's been exactly a month since my last Meet the Maids. At this rate, I will barely get all my maids introduced before the wedding.

I met Tawnya when we both worked at the same law firm, in the same department. She is one of those people that is instantly likeable - also being amazingly beautiful doesn't hurt. She's got that friendly, open, "hey how's it going?" personality.

Shortly after she started at the firm, she told us she was getting married in Hawaii. Our department threw a bridal shower for her. We did a Hawaiian theme, of course, and decorated the conference room with pineapples and floral leis. We even took the cash donations and made a money lei for her.

About a year after she got married, she quit working at the firm, but we stayed in touch through email and lunches. Sometimes it would be many months between emails, but we never really lost touch - we could pick up again right where we left off.

To say that Tawnya's marriage was troubled is an understatement. I testified at her divorce hearing. Apparently, my feelings for him were pretty obvious, because she told me later I was shooting him looks of pure disgust. Yeah, that's pretty close to what I felt for him. Without going into great detail, let's just say he won't hit my girl anymore.

As a thank you to those of us who supported Tawnya through her divorce, she threw a spa party for us. We had massages, facials and hand treatments, lots of wine, and lots of fun. (There is a picture somewhere of all of us in our white spa wraps but I'm hoping that stays off here. This is a G-rated blog, you know. )

After my girls died, she came to my house bearing food, paper towels, toilet paper, and homemade moonshine - all the essentials. She was the driving force behind the fundraiser, and if you attended and noticed the hot DJ? Yeah, that's her.

She's busier than a one-armed paper hanger. It took three months after I was engaged for her to have an open night so I could ask her to be a bridesmaid.

Although she's busy, she's always got a minute to answer her phone or reply to an email. How she manages to work full time, do her DJ gigs on the weekends, build a house, plan her own wedding, and still have time for everyone in her life is beyond me. She does it with style, I have to say.

Sadly, her daddy is very ill right now, and she's afraid she's going to lose him. Prayers and well wishes are appreciated.







Take a Picture

My wedding photographer, Jonathan Pollack, is also an award-winning photographer.

I met Jonathan last year, when he graciously did a photography session of Maddy and me. His lovely assistant (and bride), Stephanie, makes fantastic cupcakes. If you book a session, you get cupcakes. What a deal!

I hope we get some more at our engagement session.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Meet the Maids - Tara

Way back when Jessica was in 6th grade, she was a cheerleader. I met Tara back then, as she was the assistant cheer coach. I didn't really get to know her, it was more of a "hi, I'm here to pick up Jessica" conversation. I always thought she was a fun, outgoing, sweet person, I just never got the chance to know her better.

Over the years, I'd see her around town, or at school functions. We had friends and acquaintances in common, but again, just never hooked up.

Fast forward seven years to when Kelli is in junior high and tries out for cheerleading. Imagine my surprise and delight when I realized Tara would be the assistant coach. We started talking more during practices and games, and at gymnastics. At the end of the year, when the current head coach decided she'd rather raise her babies, I encouraged Tara to apply for the position. I even wrote the school a letter about her. The school made the right decision and hired Tara as the head coach.

During the summer between Kelli's 7th and 8th grade years, I saw Tara quite a lot at various car washes and other fund raisers. We started to become good friends.

Tara's goal for the squad that year was for each girl to do a back handspring. Kelli never had any gymnastics training before being a cheerleader, and she was apprehensive about trying. Ok, she was scared. She was also the last girl to learn it. Tara pushed Kelli outside her comfort zone, but she did it in a way that was encouraging but yet didn't give Kelli the option of quitting.

Two weeks before Kelli died, I went to pick her up from gymnastics. Tara came running over to me and said "you've got to see this, she's so close to doing it!" The trainer was working with Kelli on her back handspring. If the trainer just held her arm behind Kelli, Kelli could throw her handspring. I watched her do one, two, three in a row with the trainer next to her. As soon as the trainer would move her arm out from behind her, Kelli would get scared and say "I can't!"

I called out to her, "I just watched you do three on your own!" The other girls start saying "Come on, Kelli, you can do it!" But now's she's embarrassed and I can sense that's she's about to cry. I told Tara, "Okay, we better back off, she's about to crack."

Tara walked over to her, put her arm around her, and said something in her ear. Kelli shook her head. Tara said something else, and I saw Kelli's face morph from bright red and freaked out to her huge smiling face. She looked at Tara, then they both looked at me, Tara gave me the thumbs up, so I returned it.

Kelli took a deep breath, closed her eyes, bent her knees, threw her hands up over her head, and I watched her throw that back handspring. The landing was a little shaky but she'd done it. All on her own.

The squad started cheering and hugging Kelli, and I was so proud of her. The rest of the girls could have been snarky and mean to Kelli since she couldn't do the handspring. But there they all were, celebrating Kelli's victory.

Tara had always preached the values of teamwork and support to those girls. Teenage girls can be hateful, and Tara never let them be that way to each other on her watch. She told them, you don't have to be best friends all the time, but when you are on that floor, when you're all in uniform, you are a team and teammates support each other.

She might have seemed strict with them at times, but she was teaching them that hard work and perseverance pays off. It's easy to quit but you don't accomplish anything that way. You never know what you can do until you try, and try again.

When Kelli died, Tara was among the core group that was with me at my house during those first few days. I remember her saying "You know Kelli is up there in Heaven, doing handsprings around Jessica!"

Kelli was lucky to have her as a coach, and I am lucky to have her as a friend.

Oh, what was the conversation Tara and Kelli had before she did her handspring? Tara promised Kelli I'd give her $20 if she did it. And yes, I happily paid it. And we went to Culver's for ice cream after practice. Because an accomplishment like that deserves hot fudge and sprinkles.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Well, Hello There.

Hi. Yes, I know, I've been very neglectful over here. But I've been BUSY, I promise!

However, in the next couple of months I'll be back in the wedding planning groove. According to The Knot, this month's to-dos include finalizing my guest list, meeting with my florist and officiant, and making a list of expectations from my attendants (ha!). To date there are 184 "to-dos" on my list and I've completed 29. However, it's not as bad as it sounds.

Luckily our venue is pretty much an all-inclusive place, so I don't have to find a cake, worry about decorations, hire a DJ or interview a wedding coordinator. I have decided on my dress and my attendants' dresses. We've decided on our invitations and flowers. Our guest list is pretty much done.

But for now, I'm enjoying my new house and the lack of stress over wedding details for now, because I know in about three months this calm demeanor will be no more.