Meet the Maids - BFF Lynn

Now that my wedding line-up is complete, it's time for you to meet the players. We're going to start with BFF Lynn for several reasons - she's the tallest, I've known her the longest, and we're going in alphabetical order.

Lynn Marie Andrews - what do I say about Lynn?

We met over 15 years ago, a few months before she was getting ready to marry her husband, Brian. We instantly bonded because of our similar sense of humor, our snarky comments, and our talent for standing on a chair and singing Bohemian Rhapsody. We both had young children - her son, Christopher, was a year younger than Jessica - and we both had Air Force spouses.

At the encouragement of some mutual friends, we (and our husbands) joined a bowling league and bowled together every Sunday. Lynn and I even became pregnant at the same time and bowled together pregnant. We did better then, although we don't believe it had anything to do with the fact we weren't drinking.

We later bowled together on a different league, without the husbands. Our team was usually in last place - we were there for the night out away from children and husbands, and the alcohol. Don't get me wrong, Lynn is pretty good bowler. Just don't ask her to hold your keys.

One night after bowling we went to a bar just up the street. We left my car at the bowling alley and she drove us in her spanking new Mercury Villager. You could always hear her coming - she's the mom-mobile blasting Def Leppard.

We had a good time but finally it was time to go. We headed out to the van and she's digging in her purse for her keys. No luck. She pats her pants pockets - nothing. We peer in the van's windows but can't see them in the ignition. We go back inside and comb the bar floor - nothing. She thinks she may have dropped them in the floor thinking they'd landed in her purse. I called an O'Fallon cop I knew to come unlock her van doors. While we were waiting, we went back in the bar for a beer, and we looked all over again, even went to people and asked them if they'd found any keys. No luck.

My friend shows up, opens the van, we thank him profusely, and climb in the van.

We tore it apart and still no keys. What. The. Hell.

We decide to walk back to the bowling alley to get my car, head to her house, and get her spare set of keys. Of course it was dark by now, and we had to walk by a corn field. It was kind of spooky, so we had fun freaking out each other with Children of the Corn stories.

Back at the bowling alley, I used their phone (we didn't have cell phones back in those days) and called my husband and left him a message on the machine that I was running late, Lynn had lost her keys, and I'd be home soon. I figured he'd already gone to bed, so if he got up and I wasn't home, he'd see the blinking light on the phone.

We get to her house and try to quietly go in the front door. They had hardwood floors and we had on boots. Not a good combination for stealth. She goes to the kitchen and starts rummaging through the junk drawer while saying "Shhhhh! Brian's asleep!!" She can't find them in the junk drawer so she goes to the bedroom. I hear her say "No! Don't get up! Kim's out there and you're in your underwear!"

Brian gives her the spare set, and we head back to the bar. She apologizes profusely, fires up the van and heads home. I do the same.

The next morning, I receive an email from her with the subject line "Don't Kill Me....". Apparently the keys? Were in her pocket. The ENTIRE EFFING TIME. She was wearing her "mom jeans" and the keys had slid over in the corner of the pocket. When she got home and took off her pants, they made a "ka-ching" sound when they hit the floor. Brian asked "is that what I think it is?" She could only laugh.

Meanwhile, I got my butt chewed out for coming home late. When I pointed out I'd left him a message, and he said "no you didn't," I suggested he check the answering machine next time. I got quite a nice apology after he realized he was mistaken.

We enjoy teasing each other about the goofy things we've done. Lord knows if we didn't have our senses of humor, we'd have nothing.

She's had her share of heartbreak, marital woes, family drama and general crap. Through it all she's maintained her class, dignity and ability to laugh about it...eventually.

Lynn has been my rock. Through thick and thin, good and bad, times when we talked daily and times when we almost lost touch, she's been there. She's an awesome mom, a beautiful person and a blessing I thank God for.