Meet the Maids - BFF Lynn

Now that my wedding line-up is complete, it's time for you to meet the players. We're going to start with BFF Lynn for several reasons - she's the tallest, I've known her the longest, and we're going in alphabetical order.

Lynn Marie Andrews - what do I say about Lynn?

We met over 15 years ago, a few months before she was getting ready to marry her husband, Brian. We instantly bonded because of our similar sense of humor, our snarky comments, and our talent for standing on a chair and singing Bohemian Rhapsody. We both had young children - her son, Christopher, was a year younger than Jessica - and we both had Air Force spouses.

At the encouragement of some mutual friends, we (and our husbands) joined a bowling league and bowled together every Sunday. Lynn and I even became pregnant at the same time and bowled together pregnant. We did better then, although we don't believe it had anything to do with the fact we weren't drinking.

We later bowled together on a different league, without the husbands. Our team was usually in last place - we were there for the night out away from children and husbands, and the alcohol. Don't get me wrong, Lynn is pretty good bowler. Just don't ask her to hold your keys.

One night after bowling we went to a bar just up the street. We left my car at the bowling alley and she drove us in her spanking new Mercury Villager. You could always hear her coming - she's the mom-mobile blasting Def Leppard.

We had a good time but finally it was time to go. We headed out to the van and she's digging in her purse for her keys. No luck. She pats her pants pockets - nothing. We peer in the van's windows but can't see them in the ignition. We go back inside and comb the bar floor - nothing. She thinks she may have dropped them in the floor thinking they'd landed in her purse. I called an O'Fallon cop I knew to come unlock her van doors. While we were waiting, we went back in the bar for a beer, and we looked all over again, even went to people and asked them if they'd found any keys. No luck.

My friend shows up, opens the van, we thank him profusely, and climb in the van.

We tore it apart and still no keys. What. The. Hell.

We decide to walk back to the bowling alley to get my car, head to her house, and get her spare set of keys. Of course it was dark by now, and we had to walk by a corn field. It was kind of spooky, so we had fun freaking out each other with Children of the Corn stories.

Back at the bowling alley, I used their phone (we didn't have cell phones back in those days) and called my husband and left him a message on the machine that I was running late, Lynn had lost her keys, and I'd be home soon. I figured he'd already gone to bed, so if he got up and I wasn't home, he'd see the blinking light on the phone.

We get to her house and try to quietly go in the front door. They had hardwood floors and we had on boots. Not a good combination for stealth. She goes to the kitchen and starts rummaging through the junk drawer while saying "Shhhhh! Brian's asleep!!" She can't find them in the junk drawer so she goes to the bedroom. I hear her say "No! Don't get up! Kim's out there and you're in your underwear!"

Brian gives her the spare set, and we head back to the bar. She apologizes profusely, fires up the van and heads home. I do the same.

The next morning, I receive an email from her with the subject line "Don't Kill Me....". Apparently the keys? Were in her pocket. The ENTIRE EFFING TIME. She was wearing her "mom jeans" and the keys had slid over in the corner of the pocket. When she got home and took off her pants, they made a "ka-ching" sound when they hit the floor. Brian asked "is that what I think it is?" She could only laugh.

Meanwhile, I got my butt chewed out for coming home late. When I pointed out I'd left him a message, and he said "no you didn't," I suggested he check the answering machine next time. I got quite a nice apology after he realized he was mistaken.

We enjoy teasing each other about the goofy things we've done. Lord knows if we didn't have our senses of humor, we'd have nothing.

She's had her share of heartbreak, marital woes, family drama and general crap. Through it all she's maintained her class, dignity and ability to laugh about it...eventually.

Lynn has been my rock. Through thick and thin, good and bad, times when we talked daily and times when we almost lost touch, she's been there. She's an awesome mom, a beautiful person and a blessing I thank God for.

Can You Come to My Pity Party?

This isn't really wedding-related, but it does involve the dearly beloved and flowers, so I figured I post it over here. Plus I haven't had a lot of news to put here. I didn't want you thinking I'd run off to Vegas. Who does that?

I'm having a bad day. I believe the technical term is "suck-ass-crappy-never should have gotten out of bed" day.

I did something totally boneheaded this morning, in front of hubby-to-be. It's bad enough when you screw up, but when you've got witnesses, especially of the "around you 24/7 to remind you how stupid you are" variety - well, that's never a good thing. Suffice it to say no one was harmed or killed as a result of my stupidity.

After the dust settled from my idiocy, I went to work. A litany of petty little stupid things started compounding on top of the stellar beginning to my day. I could sense the fuse to the powder keg sparking to life. Honestly. I could feel the pressure building in my chest and had to fight the urge to override the synapse between my brain and mouth, simply to avoid adding to the list of accomplishments piling up in the Dumbass column of my life.

I made it through to lunch, and decided instead of working out, I'd get outside, soak up some sunshine and fresh air, and try to shake this mood.

Helpful hint - if you are ever in a bad mood and hungry, don't go to a fast food restaurant. Buck up and call a restaurant for a carry-out. I should have gotten a salad at Gitto's but noooo, I was craving cheese and grease. 14 minutes after ordering, I got my food. The place had no ice in the soda machine either, by the way.

I went over to Kiener and watched fighter jets fly by. At first I thought we were under attack, which would have been the cherry on my ice-cream-sundae kinda day. I think they were just practicing for the air show this weekend. So I thought I'd get some pictures, because you don't see fighter jets flying over downtown every day. Talk about an exercise in futility. By the time I heard them, they'd zipped by and after 5 or 6 frustrating attempts, I gave up. I did finally get one shot of them, and the plane looks like a black dot in the sky. Photography is not my calling.

During lunch, I snapped at dearly beloved over stupid stuff. Kudos to him for showing remarkable restraint in not thumping me in the forehead like I deserved.

Finally, I said to myself, "Self, shit happens, get over yourself. Put on your big-girl panties and get on with it."

I decided instead of spreading my gloom and doom, I'd spread love and cheer. If I couldn't feel better, I could at least make someone else feel good. On the way back to work, I stopped at the florist and picked up bouquets of daisies for the ladies in my department. You know what? It felt good to give them the flowers and say "here you go. No reason, just enjoy." My heart grew three sizes today. (Sorry, bad Grich reference).

I'm going to continue to spread the sunshine and fairy dust here - to all my readers, thanks for reading. Thanks for your comments. Thanks for your support, well wishes, and cyberhugs.

Here are your flowers (albeit virtual). Surrounding the flowers are three very important reasons why I keep on keeping on.

(Jim Edmonds is in there but he's a Cub and that's another rant for another day).

Update

Hi there. Just a few updates on the wedding plans. Things are going well.

*I found "the dress." Oh, it's gorgeous. I got goosebumps when I saw myself in the mirror. Wanna see it? Email me and I'll send you a picture.

*The other details are progressing along fine. We're looking at tuxes and photographers right now. We've picked out some invitations that we like, and we're working on the guest list.

*I'm going to be a model in a bridal show next Thursday. I'll post more details as I get them.

*Oh, and we're trying to buy a house. Because we're not busy enough. Oy.

Just a Bite

Craig and I and his parents went to a tasting event at our wedding reception venue last night. It was, in a word, fabulous.

We were treated to a fashion show, got to meet with lots of vendors, and see the rooms set up in all their finery. The venue hosts a dinner once a month so you can see just what they have to offer as far as food, DJ, decorations, service, etc. It's like a reception, just without the dancing. They even had waiters passing appetizers, which helped us decide we definitely need the coconut shrimp as one of our offerings. The bacon-wrapped shrimp - not so much. I kept waiting for the chicken quesadilla girl to come back but alas, it was not to be.

We enjoyed a sit-down dinner of spinach and strawberry salad with poppyseed dressing, followed by Beef Wellington, crispy chicken in alfredo sauce, mashed potatoes with shallots, sage, cream and butter, and grilled asparagus The beef was delicious, the chicken was okay, the potatoes were scrumptious and I don't eat asparagus. We decided that we wouldn't have the spinach salad - it was delicious, but I don't want pictures of me and my guests picking seeds out of our teeth.

The highlight (0ther than the open bar) was the 6 different kinds of MacArthur's cake they offered at the end of the meal. Craig's mom and I went to get some, and I choose lemon and vanilla bean. She chose a chocolate layer cake, and mocha cheesecake. Oh. My. Gawd. Each and every one was fantastically sinfully delicious. After our huge dinner, and having just a bite of each one, I was stuffed. The lemon was definitely my favorite.

I'm glad that we went and got to sample the food and see the rooms set up as they will be for our reception. One less detail to worry about.