Meet the Maids - Tara

Way back when Jessica was in 6th grade, she was a cheerleader. I met Tara back then, as she was the assistant cheer coach. I didn't really get to know her, it was more of a "hi, I'm here to pick up Jessica" conversation. I always thought she was a fun, outgoing, sweet person, I just never got the chance to know her better.

Over the years, I'd see her around town, or at school functions. We had friends and acquaintances in common, but again, just never hooked up.

Fast forward seven years to when Kelli is in junior high and tries out for cheerleading. Imagine my surprise and delight when I realized Tara would be the assistant coach. We started talking more during practices and games, and at gymnastics. At the end of the year, when the current head coach decided she'd rather raise her babies, I encouraged Tara to apply for the position. I even wrote the school a letter about her. The school made the right decision and hired Tara as the head coach.

During the summer between Kelli's 7th and 8th grade years, I saw Tara quite a lot at various car washes and other fund raisers. We started to become good friends.

Tara's goal for the squad that year was for each girl to do a back handspring. Kelli never had any gymnastics training before being a cheerleader, and she was apprehensive about trying. Ok, she was scared. She was also the last girl to learn it. Tara pushed Kelli outside her comfort zone, but she did it in a way that was encouraging but yet didn't give Kelli the option of quitting.

Two weeks before Kelli died, I went to pick her up from gymnastics. Tara came running over to me and said "you've got to see this, she's so close to doing it!" The trainer was working with Kelli on her back handspring. If the trainer just held her arm behind Kelli, Kelli could throw her handspring. I watched her do one, two, three in a row with the trainer next to her. As soon as the trainer would move her arm out from behind her, Kelli would get scared and say "I can't!"

I called out to her, "I just watched you do three on your own!" The other girls start saying "Come on, Kelli, you can do it!" But now's she's embarrassed and I can sense that's she's about to cry. I told Tara, "Okay, we better back off, she's about to crack."

Tara walked over to her, put her arm around her, and said something in her ear. Kelli shook her head. Tara said something else, and I saw Kelli's face morph from bright red and freaked out to her huge smiling face. She looked at Tara, then they both looked at me, Tara gave me the thumbs up, so I returned it.

Kelli took a deep breath, closed her eyes, bent her knees, threw her hands up over her head, and I watched her throw that back handspring. The landing was a little shaky but she'd done it. All on her own.

The squad started cheering and hugging Kelli, and I was so proud of her. The rest of the girls could have been snarky and mean to Kelli since she couldn't do the handspring. But there they all were, celebrating Kelli's victory.

Tara had always preached the values of teamwork and support to those girls. Teenage girls can be hateful, and Tara never let them be that way to each other on her watch. She told them, you don't have to be best friends all the time, but when you are on that floor, when you're all in uniform, you are a team and teammates support each other.

She might have seemed strict with them at times, but she was teaching them that hard work and perseverance pays off. It's easy to quit but you don't accomplish anything that way. You never know what you can do until you try, and try again.

When Kelli died, Tara was among the core group that was with me at my house during those first few days. I remember her saying "You know Kelli is up there in Heaven, doing handsprings around Jessica!"

Kelli was lucky to have her as a coach, and I am lucky to have her as a friend.

Oh, what was the conversation Tara and Kelli had before she did her handspring? Tara promised Kelli I'd give her $20 if she did it. And yes, I happily paid it. And we went to Culver's for ice cream after practice. Because an accomplishment like that deserves hot fudge and sprinkles.

Well, Hello There.

Hi. Yes, I know, I've been very neglectful over here. But I've been BUSY, I promise!

However, in the next couple of months I'll be back in the wedding planning groove. According to The Knot, this month's to-dos include finalizing my guest list, meeting with my florist and officiant, and making a list of expectations from my attendants (ha!). To date there are 184 "to-dos" on my list and I've completed 29. However, it's not as bad as it sounds.

Luckily our venue is pretty much an all-inclusive place, so I don't have to find a cake, worry about decorations, hire a DJ or interview a wedding coordinator. I have decided on my dress and my attendants' dresses. We've decided on our invitations and flowers. Our guest list is pretty much done.

But for now, I'm enjoying my new house and the lack of stress over wedding details for now, because I know in about three months this calm demeanor will be no more.

Once a Month

Apparently my postings on this site have averaged about one a month for the past few months. So sorry about that.

We are still getting married, but it's still 295 days away, which seems like forever. We've been busy with the new house, and we managed to move Craig's house without drama. We will be moving my house in the next few weeks, so the potential for drama still remains.

I guess there's just not a lot to blog about, wedding-wise, right now. I'm sure after the holidays things will pick up and I'll be reporting more. For now, please to be patient.

The Husband Meme

I found this on Krys' site and thought I'd give it a go over here. I will ask Craig to grade it to see if I know my husband-to-be.

1. He's sitting in front of the tv, what is on the screen? Cash Cab, Man vs. Wild, hockey

2. You're out to eat what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Poppyseed, if they have it. Otherwise, ranch.

3. What's one food he doesn't like? Hot wings

4. You go out to the bar, what does he order? Bud Select (and he better be ordering one for me!)

5. Where did he go to high school? Wesclin, in Trenton, IL

6. What size shoe does he wear? 10-1/2

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? Junk mail. (I kid!) Cardinals memorabilia

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? Turkey

9. What would this person eat every day if he could? Pizza

10. What is his favorite cereal? Chocolate Lucky Charms or Cap'n Crunch.

11. What would he never wear? Anything pink

12. What is his favorite sports team? St. Louis Blues

13. Who will he vote for? McCain

14. Who is his best friend? Chad, Aaron & Stu

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? Swear

16. How many states has he lived in? One - IL

17. What is his heritage? German

18. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake? Chocolate with ice cream

19. Did he play sports in high school? Yes, soccer

20. What could he spend hours doing? Wedding planning (I kid!) Watching TV

You Say Green, I Say Sage, or Avacado, or Celery...

Uh, yeah, it's been a while, huh? How's it going? Thanks for checking back in.

We've gotten a little wrapped up in the house-hunting, house-buying, home-improvement thing, and the wedding plans are at a standstill. However, all that does tie in with the wedding/marriage theme I've got going over here.

Want to get to know someone before the wedding? Buy a house together. I highly recommend living with the person before the wedding to really get to know them. But when you buy and decorate the place to live prior to the wedding? All sorts of revealing. And stressful.

We have had "discussions" about exterior features, faucets, lighting, carpet, paint colors, appliances, drapes, ceiling fans - you name it, we've looked at it, talked about it and discovered we differ in our decorating tastes. I had no idea he didn't like Tiffany glass, and I love it. He likes neutral paint, I like color. It took us two days and 49 emails to pick out lamps for the living room.

We discovered, while discussing alternatives to the mauve and cream marble swirled single-sink vanity top in the master bathroom (which we both agreed was oooo-glee and we need two sinks) that the vanity cabinet is a size not normally carried in the stores, and surprise! It won't accomodate a double-sink top because the existing drawers would be in the way. Of course - we can't be normal, you know. Nothing is ever standard. Gah.

So we started the back and forth discussion - do we buy a new custom cabinet the same size for a hella huge price? Do we take out the top drawers to fit a double-sink top on the existing cabinet? Or do we go with a smaller cabinet, and open up some space on either side? The more I thought about it, the more I was leaning toward a smaller cabinet. I thought it would open up the wall, as it was a solid "counter against tub wall against shower stall," with no break in the visual line. Adding about six inches on either side of the vanity would make the sink look almost like a cabinet set against the wall.

I found a nice one online, reasonably priced, that looked like a sideboard, and it was finished in a nice cinnamon color, which fit in with our new paint and flooring. He was resistant at first, but the more I gently explained it (instead of going with my first instinct to pout and stomp my foot), the more he started to come around. I was quite proud of myself for finding a solution that we could both agree on AND that didn't cost half our budget. Go me! All that HGTV is paying off!

But then I started second-guessing myself - what if this doesn't look like what I have pictured? What if we install it and it's ugly? What if he hates it? He's trusted me with this, and now I'va failed, so I won't have any more say about paint color or flooring! He's going to resent me every time he brushes his teeth, we won't be able to move past this, and then we're going to break up! (I might be a bit dramatic, but you get the point).

In the end, we decided to take out the top drawers so we can just put the new double-bowl sink on there. We have plenty of storage even without the drawers. I agreed, it saves money and time, and the vanity that's in there is fine for now.

But! If we do further upgrades, we'll use my idea! So hopefully it's still in style when we can afford to do the rest of the upgrades.

Tell me your decorating stories....

Candlelight

On November 23, 2008, please join us for a candlelight memorial to mark the one-year anniversary. Click the link for more information.

Also, feel free to post the button on your website. Isn't it fabulous? Jaelithe did it, she's so awesome.

Thanks for your support, prayers and cyber-hugs through this.

She's Crafty

Here's a Duh! statement - weddings are expensive. I'm willing to pay for some things - a nice dress, an open bar- but we can save some money in other areas by doing it ourselves.

I have decided to design and print my own Save the Date cards and wedding programs. We're going to have our invitations professionally done, simply because they're really not that expensive on their own, and I just adore my invitation design. I went to Paperandmore.com. This is a great site, very user friendly, and I was able to order as many samples as I wanted for $1 shipping. Bonus!

I'm also toying with the idea of doing silk flowers for me and my bridesmaids, but having fresh for Craig and his groomsmen. I think silk flowers can still be classy, and I get to keep my bouquet.

Our reception place has included basic decorations in our package price, so we'll probably go with those. I am still looking in the meantime, and if I find something that's an awesome price for 30 of them, I may snap it up. Otherwise, I'll save the money and go with the basics.

I don't know if we'll do wedding favors or not. Do people expect these?

What are some things you saved on by doing them yourself?