Once a Month

Apparently my postings on this site have averaged about one a month for the past few months. So sorry about that.

We are still getting married, but it's still 295 days away, which seems like forever. We've been busy with the new house, and we managed to move Craig's house without drama. We will be moving my house in the next few weeks, so the potential for drama still remains.

I guess there's just not a lot to blog about, wedding-wise, right now. I'm sure after the holidays things will pick up and I'll be reporting more. For now, please to be patient.

The Husband Meme

I found this on Krys' site and thought I'd give it a go over here. I will ask Craig to grade it to see if I know my husband-to-be.

1. He's sitting in front of the tv, what is on the screen? Cash Cab, Man vs. Wild, hockey

2. You're out to eat what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Poppyseed, if they have it. Otherwise, ranch.

3. What's one food he doesn't like? Hot wings

4. You go out to the bar, what does he order? Bud Select (and he better be ordering one for me!)

5. Where did he go to high school? Wesclin, in Trenton, IL

6. What size shoe does he wear? 10-1/2

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? Junk mail. (I kid!) Cardinals memorabilia

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? Turkey

9. What would this person eat every day if he could? Pizza

10. What is his favorite cereal? Chocolate Lucky Charms or Cap'n Crunch.

11. What would he never wear? Anything pink

12. What is his favorite sports team? St. Louis Blues

13. Who will he vote for? McCain

14. Who is his best friend? Chad, Aaron & Stu

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? Swear

16. How many states has he lived in? One - IL

17. What is his heritage? German

18. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake? Chocolate with ice cream

19. Did he play sports in high school? Yes, soccer

20. What could he spend hours doing? Wedding planning (I kid!) Watching TV

You Say Green, I Say Sage, or Avacado, or Celery...

Uh, yeah, it's been a while, huh? How's it going? Thanks for checking back in.

We've gotten a little wrapped up in the house-hunting, house-buying, home-improvement thing, and the wedding plans are at a standstill. However, all that does tie in with the wedding/marriage theme I've got going over here.

Want to get to know someone before the wedding? Buy a house together. I highly recommend living with the person before the wedding to really get to know them. But when you buy and decorate the place to live prior to the wedding? All sorts of revealing. And stressful.

We have had "discussions" about exterior features, faucets, lighting, carpet, paint colors, appliances, drapes, ceiling fans - you name it, we've looked at it, talked about it and discovered we differ in our decorating tastes. I had no idea he didn't like Tiffany glass, and I love it. He likes neutral paint, I like color. It took us two days and 49 emails to pick out lamps for the living room.

We discovered, while discussing alternatives to the mauve and cream marble swirled single-sink vanity top in the master bathroom (which we both agreed was oooo-glee and we need two sinks) that the vanity cabinet is a size not normally carried in the stores, and surprise! It won't accomodate a double-sink top because the existing drawers would be in the way. Of course - we can't be normal, you know. Nothing is ever standard. Gah.

So we started the back and forth discussion - do we buy a new custom cabinet the same size for a hella huge price? Do we take out the top drawers to fit a double-sink top on the existing cabinet? Or do we go with a smaller cabinet, and open up some space on either side? The more I thought about it, the more I was leaning toward a smaller cabinet. I thought it would open up the wall, as it was a solid "counter against tub wall against shower stall," with no break in the visual line. Adding about six inches on either side of the vanity would make the sink look almost like a cabinet set against the wall.

I found a nice one online, reasonably priced, that looked like a sideboard, and it was finished in a nice cinnamon color, which fit in with our new paint and flooring. He was resistant at first, but the more I gently explained it (instead of going with my first instinct to pout and stomp my foot), the more he started to come around. I was quite proud of myself for finding a solution that we could both agree on AND that didn't cost half our budget. Go me! All that HGTV is paying off!

But then I started second-guessing myself - what if this doesn't look like what I have pictured? What if we install it and it's ugly? What if he hates it? He's trusted me with this, and now I'va failed, so I won't have any more say about paint color or flooring! He's going to resent me every time he brushes his teeth, we won't be able to move past this, and then we're going to break up! (I might be a bit dramatic, but you get the point).

In the end, we decided to take out the top drawers so we can just put the new double-bowl sink on there. We have plenty of storage even without the drawers. I agreed, it saves money and time, and the vanity that's in there is fine for now.

But! If we do further upgrades, we'll use my idea! So hopefully it's still in style when we can afford to do the rest of the upgrades.

Tell me your decorating stories....

Candlelight

On November 23, 2008, please join us for a candlelight memorial to mark the one-year anniversary. Click the link for more information.

Also, feel free to post the button on your website. Isn't it fabulous? Jaelithe did it, she's so awesome.

Thanks for your support, prayers and cyber-hugs through this.

She's Crafty

Here's a Duh! statement - weddings are expensive. I'm willing to pay for some things - a nice dress, an open bar- but we can save some money in other areas by doing it ourselves.

I have decided to design and print my own Save the Date cards and wedding programs. We're going to have our invitations professionally done, simply because they're really not that expensive on their own, and I just adore my invitation design. I went to Paperandmore.com. This is a great site, very user friendly, and I was able to order as many samples as I wanted for $1 shipping. Bonus!

I'm also toying with the idea of doing silk flowers for me and my bridesmaids, but having fresh for Craig and his groomsmen. I think silk flowers can still be classy, and I get to keep my bouquet.

Our reception place has included basic decorations in our package price, so we'll probably go with those. I am still looking in the meantime, and if I find something that's an awesome price for 30 of them, I may snap it up. Otherwise, I'll save the money and go with the basics.

I don't know if we'll do wedding favors or not. Do people expect these?

What are some things you saved on by doing them yourself?

Meet the Maids - BFF Lynn

Now that my wedding line-up is complete, it's time for you to meet the players. We're going to start with BFF Lynn for several reasons - she's the tallest, I've known her the longest, and we're going in alphabetical order.

Lynn Marie Andrews - what do I say about Lynn?

We met over 15 years ago, a few months before she was getting ready to marry her husband, Brian. We instantly bonded because of our similar sense of humor, our snarky comments, and our talent for standing on a chair and singing Bohemian Rhapsody. We both had young children - her son, Christopher, was a year younger than Jessica - and we both had Air Force spouses.

At the encouragement of some mutual friends, we (and our husbands) joined a bowling league and bowled together every Sunday. Lynn and I even became pregnant at the same time and bowled together pregnant. We did better then, although we don't believe it had anything to do with the fact we weren't drinking.

We later bowled together on a different league, without the husbands. Our team was usually in last place - we were there for the night out away from children and husbands, and the alcohol. Don't get me wrong, Lynn is pretty good bowler. Just don't ask her to hold your keys.

One night after bowling we went to a bar just up the street. We left my car at the bowling alley and she drove us in her spanking new Mercury Villager. You could always hear her coming - she's the mom-mobile blasting Def Leppard.

We had a good time but finally it was time to go. We headed out to the van and she's digging in her purse for her keys. No luck. She pats her pants pockets - nothing. We peer in the van's windows but can't see them in the ignition. We go back inside and comb the bar floor - nothing. She thinks she may have dropped them in the floor thinking they'd landed in her purse. I called an O'Fallon cop I knew to come unlock her van doors. While we were waiting, we went back in the bar for a beer, and we looked all over again, even went to people and asked them if they'd found any keys. No luck.

My friend shows up, opens the van, we thank him profusely, and climb in the van.

We tore it apart and still no keys. What. The. Hell.

We decide to walk back to the bowling alley to get my car, head to her house, and get her spare set of keys. Of course it was dark by now, and we had to walk by a corn field. It was kind of spooky, so we had fun freaking out each other with Children of the Corn stories.

Back at the bowling alley, I used their phone (we didn't have cell phones back in those days) and called my husband and left him a message on the machine that I was running late, Lynn had lost her keys, and I'd be home soon. I figured he'd already gone to bed, so if he got up and I wasn't home, he'd see the blinking light on the phone.

We get to her house and try to quietly go in the front door. They had hardwood floors and we had on boots. Not a good combination for stealth. She goes to the kitchen and starts rummaging through the junk drawer while saying "Shhhhh! Brian's asleep!!" She can't find them in the junk drawer so she goes to the bedroom. I hear her say "No! Don't get up! Kim's out there and you're in your underwear!"

Brian gives her the spare set, and we head back to the bar. She apologizes profusely, fires up the van and heads home. I do the same.

The next morning, I receive an email from her with the subject line "Don't Kill Me....". Apparently the keys? Were in her pocket. The ENTIRE EFFING TIME. She was wearing her "mom jeans" and the keys had slid over in the corner of the pocket. When she got home and took off her pants, they made a "ka-ching" sound when they hit the floor. Brian asked "is that what I think it is?" She could only laugh.

Meanwhile, I got my butt chewed out for coming home late. When I pointed out I'd left him a message, and he said "no you didn't," I suggested he check the answering machine next time. I got quite a nice apology after he realized he was mistaken.

We enjoy teasing each other about the goofy things we've done. Lord knows if we didn't have our senses of humor, we'd have nothing.

She's had her share of heartbreak, marital woes, family drama and general crap. Through it all she's maintained her class, dignity and ability to laugh about it...eventually.

Lynn has been my rock. Through thick and thin, good and bad, times when we talked daily and times when we almost lost touch, she's been there. She's an awesome mom, a beautiful person and a blessing I thank God for.

Can You Come to My Pity Party?

This isn't really wedding-related, but it does involve the dearly beloved and flowers, so I figured I post it over here. Plus I haven't had a lot of news to put here. I didn't want you thinking I'd run off to Vegas. Who does that?

I'm having a bad day. I believe the technical term is "suck-ass-crappy-never should have gotten out of bed" day.

I did something totally boneheaded this morning, in front of hubby-to-be. It's bad enough when you screw up, but when you've got witnesses, especially of the "around you 24/7 to remind you how stupid you are" variety - well, that's never a good thing. Suffice it to say no one was harmed or killed as a result of my stupidity.

After the dust settled from my idiocy, I went to work. A litany of petty little stupid things started compounding on top of the stellar beginning to my day. I could sense the fuse to the powder keg sparking to life. Honestly. I could feel the pressure building in my chest and had to fight the urge to override the synapse between my brain and mouth, simply to avoid adding to the list of accomplishments piling up in the Dumbass column of my life.

I made it through to lunch, and decided instead of working out, I'd get outside, soak up some sunshine and fresh air, and try to shake this mood.

Helpful hint - if you are ever in a bad mood and hungry, don't go to a fast food restaurant. Buck up and call a restaurant for a carry-out. I should have gotten a salad at Gitto's but noooo, I was craving cheese and grease. 14 minutes after ordering, I got my food. The place had no ice in the soda machine either, by the way.

I went over to Kiener and watched fighter jets fly by. At first I thought we were under attack, which would have been the cherry on my ice-cream-sundae kinda day. I think they were just practicing for the air show this weekend. So I thought I'd get some pictures, because you don't see fighter jets flying over downtown every day. Talk about an exercise in futility. By the time I heard them, they'd zipped by and after 5 or 6 frustrating attempts, I gave up. I did finally get one shot of them, and the plane looks like a black dot in the sky. Photography is not my calling.

During lunch, I snapped at dearly beloved over stupid stuff. Kudos to him for showing remarkable restraint in not thumping me in the forehead like I deserved.

Finally, I said to myself, "Self, shit happens, get over yourself. Put on your big-girl panties and get on with it."

I decided instead of spreading my gloom and doom, I'd spread love and cheer. If I couldn't feel better, I could at least make someone else feel good. On the way back to work, I stopped at the florist and picked up bouquets of daisies for the ladies in my department. You know what? It felt good to give them the flowers and say "here you go. No reason, just enjoy." My heart grew three sizes today. (Sorry, bad Grich reference).

I'm going to continue to spread the sunshine and fairy dust here - to all my readers, thanks for reading. Thanks for your comments. Thanks for your support, well wishes, and cyberhugs.

Here are your flowers (albeit virtual). Surrounding the flowers are three very important reasons why I keep on keeping on.

(Jim Edmonds is in there but he's a Cub and that's another rant for another day).

Update

Hi there. Just a few updates on the wedding plans. Things are going well.

*I found "the dress." Oh, it's gorgeous. I got goosebumps when I saw myself in the mirror. Wanna see it? Email me and I'll send you a picture.

*The other details are progressing along fine. We're looking at tuxes and photographers right now. We've picked out some invitations that we like, and we're working on the guest list.

*I'm going to be a model in a bridal show next Thursday. I'll post more details as I get them.

*Oh, and we're trying to buy a house. Because we're not busy enough. Oy.

Just a Bite

Craig and I and his parents went to a tasting event at our wedding reception venue last night. It was, in a word, fabulous.

We were treated to a fashion show, got to meet with lots of vendors, and see the rooms set up in all their finery. The venue hosts a dinner once a month so you can see just what they have to offer as far as food, DJ, decorations, service, etc. It's like a reception, just without the dancing. They even had waiters passing appetizers, which helped us decide we definitely need the coconut shrimp as one of our offerings. The bacon-wrapped shrimp - not so much. I kept waiting for the chicken quesadilla girl to come back but alas, it was not to be.

We enjoyed a sit-down dinner of spinach and strawberry salad with poppyseed dressing, followed by Beef Wellington, crispy chicken in alfredo sauce, mashed potatoes with shallots, sage, cream and butter, and grilled asparagus The beef was delicious, the chicken was okay, the potatoes were scrumptious and I don't eat asparagus. We decided that we wouldn't have the spinach salad - it was delicious, but I don't want pictures of me and my guests picking seeds out of our teeth.

The highlight (0ther than the open bar) was the 6 different kinds of MacArthur's cake they offered at the end of the meal. Craig's mom and I went to get some, and I choose lemon and vanilla bean. She chose a chocolate layer cake, and mocha cheesecake. Oh. My. Gawd. Each and every one was fantastically sinfully delicious. After our huge dinner, and having just a bite of each one, I was stuffed. The lemon was definitely my favorite.

I'm glad that we went and got to sample the food and see the rooms set up as they will be for our reception. One less detail to worry about.

The Flip Side

Newlywed Melody recently wrote this article for ToastedRav.com about divorce parties. My friend, Tawnya, threw a fantastic spa party for all the ladies who helped her through her not-so-fun divorce. I was invited and we had a great time.

Have you ever been to or even hosted a divorce party?

It's Official

We just put down the deposit for the ceremony and reception. (And by "we," I mean my darling betrothed gave me his credit card and I took care of the paperwork).

No turning back now.

The Devil Is In The Details

In planning a wedding, what order do you choose your details? Obviously, the bling comes first, but then what?

Do you start with the dress? But what if you don't have a church wedding, what if you want to do an outdoor wedding? Then you probably shouldn't have a 20-foot train, unless you hire some train-carriers. I haven't seen an ad for those on The Knot.

Now the colors. Is there a grace period to using color someone else used recently? Is there a grace period to use aqua?

Do you choose your attendants first, then pick a color that looks good on them? Or at least doesn't make them appear pastier than normal?

Do you pick unattractive friends as your attendants, so you look even better? (Not that I have ugly friends.)

Do you pick the food based on your tastes, or what you think 250 people would like? What if someone doesn't like chicken? Or green beans? Do you leave them take out menus on the buffet?

Music? What should be the first dance? Obviously this wouldn't be the time to play Let's Get It On, right? How about Prince? Rump Shaker?

How much of a free bar do you give the alcoholics friends and family? Do you provide the bartender pictures of those who potentially may drink themselves into dancing to Rump Shaker?

How do you pick the cake flavors? What if someone has a nut allergy? Gluten allergies? Lactose intolerant? Just plain picky?

Speaking of allergies, how about flowers? Do you match your bouquet to the bridesmaids, just make it 6 times bigger, so as to remove ANY doubt as to who is in charge?

I guess what I'm saying is yes, we have a little over a year but sweet cracker sandwich there are a lot of details to decide, and they're all intertwined. You can't wait until three months before to find a place to hold your reception, or book your church. There are invitations to mail, menus to choose, flowers to order, dresses to diet into, the list goes on.

I'm just very glad I have five bottles of wine in my kitchen. Now my only decision is Pinot Grigio or Riesling.

The Wow Factor

My friend and future SIL is getting married in February. She has been dress shopping for a while. I think she tried on pretty much every dress in the bi-state area, and I've been witness to several sessions. They all looked so pretty on her, but she kept saying "I don't feel that this is the One. I'm not getting Wow! from it." I didn't really get what she was saying, until yesterday.

I went dress shopping by myself. I had some ideas of what I wanted and didn't want, but I really wanted to try them on and see how they looked on me. Who knows, perhaps what looks good in the magazine won't translate on me. I can't imagine why. *eyeroll*

The first one, which I really liked online, did nothing for me. The next one was better, but I still wasn't feeling it. The consultant and I discussed changing the neckline, or adding some beading. I agreed that it might work, but I wanted to keep looking.

Based on my likes and dislikes, she brought me two other dresses. I had noticed them on the rack but had dismissed them as not having the design elements I was looking for. But I figured, she's the pro, I'll give them a chance.

The next one I tried on was a little closer to Wow. Although I was zipped in it so tight that might have been lack of oxygen. The neckline, beading, color, skirt shape were all combining in a way that was making me dismiss my original choices and start heading down this dress road.

The final dress was a strapless dress, but the consultant brought out a beaded strap and pinned it to the neckline. It really changed the look and the line of the dress, and my opinions of it as well. The skirt and beading on this one, with the neckline and the train - oh, now we're talking. I felt different somehow. Not in the fairy-tale princess way, but I felt elegant in this dress.

I still have a couple of other shops to visit before I make my final selection. Luckily I have until after the first of the year to decide (and to get in shape!). But I get the Wow Factor feeling now. Although I didn't get the full-on Wow, these two dresses are on the list.

NOTE - I won't be posting pictures of my dress on here for several reasons - the main one being that a certain groom reads this and I don't want him to see. Tradition, you know. However, if you must see, I might be persuaded to email you a picture.

Go Go Bridezilla!

One thing I'm going to try NOT to do is become a bridezilla. I have heard of stories of brides treating their bridesmaids horribly, expecting them to be at her beck and call. I really hope I don't turn out to be one of those.

I would hope that the ladies I choose to stand up with me are the kinds of friends who won't hesitate to let me know when I'm crossing a line, perhaps by sending me this card:

The Wedding Binder

The details we have so far:

Date: September 26, 2009

Colors - Sapphire and Platinum with Emerald accents.

Invitations - We have our style picked out

Dress: I'm wearing one.

Cake: We're having some. Chocolate for sure!

Tuxes: He's wearing a black one. I tried to talk him into the blue ruffled but no such luck.

That's all I need, right? ahahahahahaha, yeah, not so much.

I know we have a lot more to plan. So I created The Wedding Binder. And before you think I stole the idea from Monica on Friends, let me tell you that I had a binder with my second marriage in 1997, long before Monica and Chandler hooked up. So she stole the idea from me!

Ahem.

The Binder has category tabs, such as Cake, Calendar, Dress, Flowers, Reception, Venue, etc., all alphabetized and organized. As a rule, I'm not that organized, but there are soooo many details zinging around in my fevered brain that I have to put them somewhere or risk losing them forever.

It's nice and neat now, but give me a few months. It will be crammed full of loose papers, post-its and cryptic notes. Hopefully this blog will help me keep a handle on things too.

Let the mayhem commence!

Welcome!

Welcome to Marriage 3.0. As you may have deduced from the title, this is my third foray into that institution. I'm sure if you asked my friends and family, they would agree I need an institution, although they're probably thinking something different.

Anyway, I decided to set up this blog to keep you posted on the wedding plans, so as not to muck up my daily blog with mundane details that some people might not care about. If you do want to know how things are going, pop over here occasionally and check it out.

Join me on my journey from Wow! to Vow! (Clever, huh?)