Marriage 3.0

The Good/The Bad

2009-09-23T06:42:00.000-07:00

The Good: I can't wait to wear my new wedding shoes.
The Bad: I got a little industrious with the Pedi-Egg last week. Talk about tenderfoot!

The Good: The table assignments are done.
The Bad: People who RSVP 3 days before the wedding.

The Good: I have my ring back!
The Bad: I can't wear it until Saturday.

The Good: It's supposed to be warm on Saturday.
The Bad: With a chance of storms.

The Good: I'm off work beginning at noon tomorrow.
The Bad: My to-do list is a mile long.

The Good: My wedding shape-up plan has been a success.
The Bad: Man, I miss butter.

The Good: Just three more days!
The Better: All the details will come together.
The Best: Sitting back and watching everyone having a good time.

At least, that's the plan.

Do Not Play List

2009-09-18T09:37:00.001-07:00

We met with our DJ last night. In preparation for the meeting, he gave me a sheet to fill out, which lists important information, like the names of the bridal party and our parents, our first dance songs, our parent/child dance songs, etc. It also has a section where you list songs you want played and songs you don't want played.

I handed over the sheet to the DJ last night and he looked it over. When he got to the Do Not Play section, he said to us, "I can pretty much guarantee what songs get listed here most often - The Macarena, The Electric Slide, the Hokey Pokey, The Chicken Dance. However, you've given me a new one and I've just got to ask - why no Kokomo?"

Yes, Kokomo, by the Beach Boys. That awful song from that awful movie Cocktail where Tom Cruise had awful hair.

I despise that song. I cannot, will not, do not make me listen to it. There are very few songs in this world that provoke such a strong reaction in me.

I dislike it for several reasons - first, I hated the movie. Second, the local radio station played it every hour of every day (or at least that's how it felt). At least it seemed that way. Third, it just wasn't The Beach Boys to me - not the Beach Boys that my mom loved and played for me.

Now, I know the odds of that song being played during a wedding are slim; however, I err on the side of caution, so I made sure that our DJ knew it was banned.

The other songs on that list are All Summer Long by Kid Rock - that riff should be used for Sweet Home Alabama and nothing else; anything by Meatloaf (seriously?), and anything by Coldplay (plagiarists - I hope they had to pay Joe Satriani big money).

So, what are the songs that make you want to rip your car radio from the dash and pitch it out the window?

11 Days!

2009-09-15T06:31:00.000-07:00

My dress is at the seamstress for alterations. My rings are at the jeweler to be soldered together. I miss them both. I'm not ashamed to say that about once a week, I was trying on my dress. Partially for gauging the sucess of my workout plan, but also because I just love it. If you're a fan of Friends, then you will understand when I say after the wedding I will probably wear it while sitting on the couch eating popcorn and drinking beer. If you still have your wedding dress, you're invited to come over and join me. (Confused? Watch the video below).

The programs and menu cards are DUNZO! A huge thank you goes out to my crack team of crafty ladies, who helped me assemble them, and who talked me down from the ledge when the grommets didn't perform as planned.

We still have a few minor details to work out, but for the most part, it's all starting to fall into place.

23!

2009-09-03T09:12:00.000-07:00

Just shy of three weeks away. I admit it - I am nervous, but it's an excited nervous, tinged with just a hint of scared. Not scared to get married, but scared something is going to go awry.

I finished up the flowers last night, and they look amazing, if I do say so myself. I kept them simple and having pre-made bouquets as a base helped immensely. My bouquet is blue hydrangeas, and the maids have ivory hydrangeas. I love the contrast of the blue on my ivory gown, and the ivory on their blue dresses.

I called to reserve the 24 rental vases for my centerpieces, and almost had a heart attack when I was told they only had 6. Luckily, there were plenty of a larger size, so now I don't have to trim down my flowers - bonus! The centerpieces are 9" glass cylinder vases, with a spray of bluebonnets anchored in blue and white glass stones, surrounded by three blue glass votives. So simple, yet so elegant. Total cost? About $5 per centerpiece.

Speaking of bargains, I was looking for a wedding-themed zip up hoodie to wear on Saturday morning while I get my hair done. I don't want to wear anything I have to take off over my head and run the risk of undoing my 'do. As I looked online, I couldn't find anything under $40. Seriously? For a sweatshirt?

I went to a craft store and found a rhinestone iron-on for $1, then I found a hoodie for $6. For that price, I went ahead and bought a few more iron-on transfers, and I'll make myself a few tank tops to wear on our honeymoon. People seem to be nicer to you when they realize you're a newlywed.

I'm looking forward to this weekend, as we have nothing wedding-related planned. I've had a great time planning and coordinating and organizing this shindig, but I think I could use a brief mental break.

31 Days

2009-08-26T13:24:00.000-07:00

Today is 31 days from The Big Day. I'm feeling pretty good about having a handle on the details.

I have a dress, shoes, veil, and underpinnings. The flowers are done, and the fresh flowers have been ordered. We have transportation, a photographer, music, food, and beer. Oh, and cake - yummy.

Tuxes are being ordered, attendant gifts have been purchased, and I got Craig the coolest wedding gift, but you'll have to wait to find out what that is.

Invitations have been sent and RSVP cards are being received. The table assignments are underway.

My bachelorette party was last weekend, and Craig is having his bachelor party this weekend. My bridal shower is Saturday.

We have the rehearsal dinner planned, and an officiant to officiate. We have the ceremony and the readings prepared.

I'm making my programs and menu cards in a couple of weeks. Hair and makeup appointments have been scheduled.

The honeymoon reservations are confirmed.

What did I forget?

Meet The Maid Of Honor - Heather Sievers

2009-08-26T13:16:00.001-07:00

The counter says 31 days until the wedding. I have three bridesmaids to introduce. Let’s get to it, shall we?

Heather Sievers is my Maid of Honor. (If you’re wondering why she’s listed last, it’s because I did these alphabetically).

We have been friends for over nine years. We met while we were working at the same law firm. We also used to smoke, so we found ourselves taking a smoke break around the same times. When I first met her I thought she was really funny and looked like someone I’d want to hang out with outside work. After a few weeks of conversations at work, we made plans to go out on a Saturday night. Our friendship took off from there.

We used to take girl trips once a year. Our first trip was to Memphis, where her hair was attacked by a goat. We were sitting on a patio at a bar that had live goats behind a tall fence. The goats came up and starting nudging her arm through the bars. One of the other patrons said if we gave it beer it would leave us alone. She gave it some of the beer left in her cup, and it went away. However, a few minutes later the goat grabbed a hunk of her hair and started yanking her head against the fence, looking for more beer. I recently discovered that the bar no longer has the goats, so I immediately called her and told her we could finally go back without fear of being snatched bald. She’s still pretty mad at that goat.

Another trip was to Gatlinburg. When we picked up the keys to our cabin, there was a large sign that warned people that there were bears in the woods and not to leave food scraps in the woods or trash cans. We read it but didn’t think much of it.

Later that evening we decided to put on our swimsuits and enjoy the hot tub on the back deck. Heather prepared a lovely platter of cheese, crackers, sausage and a large bunch of green grapes. Holding the platter carefully, she stepped into the hot tub. I was applauding her grace when she missed the bottom step and dropped the whole plate into the tub. We managed to salvage the cheese and sausage and most of the grapes before they stayed too long in the water, but the crackers were a total loss.

As we moved around the tub, we’d find random grapes on the bottom of the tub, so we’d fish them out and throw them out into the woods.

The next morning we heard noises on the roof and deck. Heather was convinced it was a bear that was eating the grapes, and sent me out to investigate. It turned out to be acorns falling off the trees, but in the daylight I found more grapes in the hot tub. We also discovered that the crackers didn’t fully disintegrate but managed to coat our swimsuits with crumbs. To this day, we can’t eat crackers and cheese without laughing.

Heather has recently found true love, and also just had a daughter, Isabella. The irony is that she is engaged to Maddy’s godfather, and Heather is Maddy’s godmother. Maddy was so excited when she found out that they were together. Her fairy godparents, she calls them.
Even though we don’t work together anymore, we still manage to keep in touch, just probably not as often as we’d both like. Regardless, she’s always there for me when I need her, and I love her dearly.

Meet the Maids - Kristen Schlautman

2009-08-26T12:03:00.000-07:00

The counter says 31 days until the wedding. I have three bridesmaids to introduce. Let’s get to it, shall we?

Kristen Schlautman is my soon-to-be-sister-in-law. She just got married this past February, and was kind enough to ask me to be a bridesmaid, and to include Maddy as a junior bridesmaid.

I almost ruined it, though. She had asked me to go to a bridal shop with her to look at some dresses. While we were browsing through the racks, I said, “I heard that you’re supposed to choose ugly people as your bridesmaids, then you’ll look twice as good!” I was totally kidding, and wasn’t even thinking she was going to ask me to be in her wedding.

A few days later we had lunch, and she asked me then. I was so surprised and so touched that she would include me and Maddy. Then she told me she had planned to ask me that day at the bridal shop, but after my ugly comment she wasn’t sure if I’d be flattered or offended.

She was sweet enough to watch Maddy for us recently while we went out. When we got home she said, “thank God you’re here, I’m exhausted!” Apparently Maddy had talked her into playing catch, kicking the soccer ball, going on a bike ride around the neighborhood, going to DQ to get some ice cream, and then throwing a racquet ball in the house. Kristen finally hid the racquet ball from her, and told Maddy to get ready for bed. Kristen said that if all kids were that energetic, she’d need to get in shape before she had any of her own.

Famous last words, because a couple of months later, she broke the news that she was pregnant. I am so excited and so happy for her. She’s going to be a fantastic mom.

She also should be a professional bridesmaid. In addition to being the bride in her own wedding in February, she was a bridesmaid in June, she'll be mine in September, one more in October, and a short break to have a baby before standing up yet again one next June. Even while she's pregnant and not feeling so hot, she's planned and participated in the required bridal events without a word of complaint, and still looks amazing.

She’s like the sister I never had but always wanted. We’ve played bingo, gone shopping, traded advice about wedding etiquette, had conversations about the importance of shoes, she’s taken care of me when I got a little, uh, inebriated, and she’s accepted me and Maddy into her life like we always belonged there.

Meet the Maids – Kristen Deterding

2009-08-26T12:00:00.001-07:00

(Jessica in the smaller glasses, and Deter flashing the peace sign. This picture makes me laugh. Hard.)

The counter says 31 days until the wedding. I have three bridesmaids to introduce. Let’s get to it, shall we?

Kristen Deterding is our next bridesmaid. Her mom calls her Kristen, her friends call her Deter, or Ditzy Deter, and sometimes Jessica would call her DeeDee (which is also our dog’s name). But Deter doesn’t care what you call her, she’s just that laid-back.

She was one of Jessica’s best friends, and like another daughter to me. They both were beautiful, tan, blonde, scatterbrained, and ditzy. They liked the same music, movies, TV and people.

The funny thing about Jessica and Deter’s friendship is that they didn’t like each other for a long time. They first met as freshman at the high school, and although they had a few mutual friends, they just never hit it off.

In the meantime, Deter’s younger sister, Kaitlyn, and our Kelli became best friends. Being best friends required attending dances, basketball games and other social events. Jessica would usually be sweet enough to drop off Kelli, and Deter would do the same with Kaitlyn. They’d see each other, but still really never talked.

Finally, Kelli and Kaitlyn said to them, “why don’t you guys like each other?” When neither one could come up with a good answer, they started hanging out more, and within a few weeks they were inseparable.

Deter spent many nights at our house, and one instance in particular stands out in my memory. It was shortly before Jessica died. Jessica, Deter and their friend LeAnn had gone out on a Friday night. As they all had to work early Saturday morning, I half-expected them to be home at a decent hour but as they were young and energetic, they decided to push it as long as they could.

When they arrived home, they tried (unsuccessfully) to go upstairs to Jessica’s room in a quiet calm manner. There was giggling and shushing and loud whispers of “Quiet! My mom is sleeping!” Yeah, not so much anymore. When they finally arrived in her room (which was directly above my bedroom), I swore there were 12 people up there, there was that much thumping and talking.

The next morning I heard them start thumping around again, so I got up and made my special breakfast for Jessica. She loved biscuits and gravy, so I tried to make them for her on the weekends. As the girls trudged downstairs, they smelled the sausage, and started to perk up. Jessica hugged me and said “aw thanks Mom,” and Deter said, “Kim, I love you. You are the coolest mom.”

Deter has been a great source of comfort to me, whether she realizes it or not. I love hearing stories and seeing pictures that she has of Jessica and Kelli, and she keeps me up to date on what’s going on with Jessica’s other friends. I keep up with some of them still, but I’m closest with Deter.

She’s a sweetie, and I love her, and I’m so honored that she’s standing up with me.

Catching Up!

2009-06-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

I've got to come over here more often! Now that I've realized I am just over three months out, things are starting to get busy busy!

Just this week, I ordered my bridesmaids' gifts, my veil, my shoes, and my invitations. The bridesmaid dresses came in a couple of weeks ago, and they are perfect! I'm so happy with them, and so far the bridesmaids haven't had any major fit problems.

The rehearsal dinner details are finally ironed out.

The ribbon that I bought (without my fabric swatch) matches perfectly! It was buy one, get one, and they had two rolls each of the blue and silver I needed. I took a chance and got lucky with the shade.

The flowers are in and I just need to wrap up the bouquets, literally. I'm keeping it simple and only using one type of flower, but they are so pretty. The centerpiece components are ready, except for the vases, which I am renting, and will pick up the day before the wedding, and assemble those Friday night. Hey Maddy, I've got a job for you!

I will be posting my next Meet the Maids installment this weekend.

My big news is I am picking up my dress on Saturday. I can't wait. Every time I go to the shop I "visit" the sample. But this is MY dress. No one else has worn it, and no one else will (unless Maddy wants to). I just hope it still fits.

Meet the Maids - Tawnya

2009-02-13T13:47:00.001-08:00

Oh look, it's been exactly a month since my last Meet the Maids. At this rate, I will barely get all my maids introduced before the wedding.

I met Tawnya when we both worked at the same law firm, in the same department. She is one of those people that is instantly likeable - also being amazingly beautiful doesn't hurt. She's got that friendly, open, "hey how's it going?" personality.

Shortly after she started at the firm, she told us she was getting married in Hawaii. Our department threw a bridal shower for her. We did a Hawaiian theme, of course, and decorated the conference room with pineapples and floral leis. We even took the cash donations and made a money lei for her.

About a year after she got married, she quit working at the firm, but we stayed in touch through email and lunches. Sometimes it would be many months between emails, but we never really lost touch - we could pick up again right where we left off.

To say that Tawnya's marriage was troubled is an understatement. I testified at her divorce hearing. Apparently, my feelings for him were pretty obvious, because she told me later I was shooting him looks of pure disgust. Yeah, that's pretty close to what I felt for him. Without going into great detail, let's just say he won't hit my girl anymore.

As a thank you to those of us who supported Tawnya through her divorce, she threw a spa party for us. We had massages, facials and hand treatments, lots of wine, and lots of fun. (There is a picture somewhere of all of us in our white spa wraps but I'm hoping that stays off here. This is a G-rated blog, you know. )

After my girls died, she came to my house bearing food, paper towels, toilet paper, and homemade moonshine - all the essentials. She was the driving force behind the fundraiser, and if you attended and noticed the hot DJ? Yeah, that's her.

She's busier than a one-armed paper hanger. It took three months after I was engaged for her to have an open night so I could ask her to be a bridesmaid.

Although she's busy, she's always got a minute to answer her phone or reply to an email. How she manages to work full time, do her DJ gigs on the weekends, build a house, plan her own wedding, and still have time for everyone in her life is beyond me. She does it with style, I have to say.

Sadly, her daddy is very ill right now, and she's afraid she's going to lose him. Prayers and well wishes are appreciated.

Take a Picture

2009-02-13T13:39:00.001-08:00

My wedding photographer, Jonathan Pollack, is also an award-winning photographer.

I met Jonathan last year, when he graciously did a photography session of Maddy and me. His lovely assistant (and bride), Stephanie, makes fantastic cupcakes. If you book a session, you get cupcakes. What a deal!

I hope we get some more at our engagement session.

Meet the Maids - Tara

2009-01-13T12:05:00.000-08:00

Way back when Jessica was in 6th grade, she was a cheerleader. I met Tara back then, as she was the assistant cheer coach. I didn't really get to know her, it was more of a "hi, I'm here to pick up Jessica" conversation. I always thought she was a fun, outgoing, sweet person, I just never got the chance to know her better.

Over the years, I'd see her around town, or at school functions. We had friends and acquaintances in common, but again, just never hooked up.

Fast forward seven years to when Kelli is in junior high and tries out for cheerleading. Imagine my surprise and delight when I realized Tara would be the assistant coach. We started talking more during practices and games, and at gymnastics. At the end of the year, when the current head coach decided she'd rather raise her babies, I encouraged Tara to apply for the position. I even wrote the school a letter about her. The school made the right decision and hired Tara as the head coach.

During the summer between Kelli's 7th and 8th grade years, I saw Tara quite a lot at various car washes and other fund raisers. We started to become good friends.

Tara's goal for the squad that year was for each girl to do a back handspring. Kelli never had any gymnastics training before being a cheerleader, and she was apprehensive about trying. Ok, she was scared. She was also the last girl to learn it. Tara pushed Kelli outside her comfort zone, but she did it in a way that was encouraging but yet didn't give Kelli the option of quitting.

Two weeks before Kelli died, I went to pick her up from gymnastics. Tara came running over to me and said "you've got to see this, she's so close to doing it!" The trainer was working with Kelli on her back handspring. If the trainer just held her arm behind Kelli, Kelli could throw her handspring. I watched her do one, two, three in a row with the trainer next to her. As soon as the trainer would move her arm out from behind her, Kelli would get scared and say "I can't!"

I called out to her, "I just watched you do three on your own!" The other girls start saying "Come on, Kelli, you can do it!" But now's she's embarrassed and I can sense that's she's about to cry. I told Tara, "Okay, we better back off, she's about to crack."

Tara walked over to her, put her arm around her, and said something in her ear. Kelli shook her head. Tara said something else, and I saw Kelli's face morph from bright red and freaked out to her huge smiling face. She looked at Tara, then they both looked at me, Tara gave me the thumbs up, so I returned it.

Kelli took a deep breath, closed her eyes, bent her knees, threw her hands up over her head, and I watched her throw that back handspring. The landing was a little shaky but she'd done it. All on her own.

The squad started cheering and hugging Kelli, and I was so proud of her. The rest of the girls could have been snarky and mean to Kelli since she couldn't do the handspring. But there they all were, celebrating Kelli's victory.

Tara had always preached the values of teamwork and support to those girls. Teenage girls can be hateful, and Tara never let them be that way to each other on her watch. She told them, you don't have to be best friends all the time, but when you are on that floor, when you're all in uniform, you are a team and teammates support each other.

She might have seemed strict with them at times, but she was teaching them that hard work and perseverance pays off. It's easy to quit but you don't accomplish anything that way. You never know what you can do until you try, and try again.

When Kelli died, Tara was among the core group that was with me at my house during those first few days. I remember her saying "You know Kelli is up there in Heaven, doing handsprings around Jessica!"

Kelli was lucky to have her as a coach, and I am lucky to have her as a friend.

Oh, what was the conversation Tara and Kelli had before she did her handspring? Tara promised Kelli I'd give her $20 if she did it. And yes, I happily paid it. And we went to Culver's for ice cream after practice. Because an accomplishment like that deserves hot fudge and sprinkles.

Well, Hello There.

2009-01-07T11:52:00.001-08:00

Hi. Yes, I know, I've been very neglectful over here. But I've been BUSY, I promise!

However, in the next couple of months I'll be back in the wedding planning groove. According to The Knot, this month's to-dos include finalizing my guest list, meeting with my florist and officiant, and making a list of expectations from my attendants (ha!). To date there are 184 "to-dos" on my list and I've completed 29. However, it's not as bad as it sounds.

Luckily our venue is pretty much an all-inclusive place, so I don't have to find a cake, worry about decorations, hire a DJ or interview a wedding coordinator. I have decided on my dress and my attendants' dresses. We've decided on our invitations and flowers. Our guest list is pretty much done.

But for now, I'm enjoying my new house and the lack of stress over wedding details for now, because I know in about three months this calm demeanor will be no more.

Once a Month

2008-12-05T11:39:00.001-08:00

Apparently my postings on this site have averaged about one a month for the past few months. So sorry about that.

We are still getting married, but it's still 295 days away, which seems like forever. We've been busy with the new house, and we managed to move Craig's house without drama. We will be moving my house in the next few weeks, so the potential for drama still remains.

I guess there's just not a lot to blog about, wedding-wise, right now. I'm sure after the holidays things will pick up and I'll be reporting more. For now, please to be patient.

The Husband Meme

2008-11-07T13:38:00.000-08:00

I found this on Krys' site and thought I'd give it a go over here. I will ask Craig to grade it to see if I know my husband-to-be.

1. He's sitting in front of the tv, what is on the screen? Cash Cab, Man vs. Wild, hockey

2. You're out to eat what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Poppyseed, if they have it. Otherwise, ranch.

3. What's one food he doesn't like? Hot wings

4. You go out to the bar, what does he order? Bud Select (and he better be ordering one for me!)

5. Where did he go to high school? Wesclin, in Trenton, IL

6. What size shoe does he wear? 10-1/2

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? Junk mail. (I kid!) Cardinals memorabilia

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? Turkey

9. What would this person eat every day if he could? Pizza

10. What is his favorite cereal? Chocolate Lucky Charms or Cap'n Crunch.

11. What would he never wear? Anything pink

12. What is his favorite sports team? St. Louis Blues

13. Who will he vote for? McCain

14. Who is his best friend? Chad, Aaron & Stu

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? Swear

16. How many states has he lived in? One - IL

17. What is his heritage? German

18. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake? Chocolate with ice cream

19. Did he play sports in high school? Yes, soccer

20. What could he spend hours doing? Wedding planning (I kid!) Watching TV

You Say Green, I Say Sage, or Avacado, or Celery...

2008-11-05T10:40:00.000-08:00

Uh, yeah, it's been a while, huh? How's it going? Thanks for checking back in.

We've gotten a little wrapped up in the house-hunting, house-buying, home-improvement thing, and the wedding plans are at a standstill. However, all that does tie in with the wedding/marriage theme I've got going over here.

Want to get to know someone before the wedding? Buy a house together. I highly recommend living with the person before the wedding to really get to know them. But when you buy and decorate the place to live prior to the wedding? All sorts of revealing. And stressful.

We have had "discussions" about exterior features, faucets, lighting, carpet, paint colors, appliances, drapes, ceiling fans - you name it, we've looked at it, talked about it and discovered we differ in our decorating tastes. I had no idea he didn't like Tiffany glass, and I love it. He likes neutral paint, I like color. It took us two days and 49 emails to pick out lamps for the living room.

We discovered, while discussing alternatives to the mauve and cream marble swirled single-sink vanity top in the master bathroom (which we both agreed was oooo-glee and we need two sinks) that the vanity cabinet is a size not normally carried in the stores, and surprise! It won't accomodate a double-sink top because the existing drawers would be in the way. Of course - we can't be normal, you know. Nothing is ever standard. Gah.

So we started the back and forth discussion - do we buy a new custom cabinet the same size for a hella huge price? Do we take out the top drawers to fit a double-sink top on the existing cabinet? Or do we go with a smaller cabinet, and open up some space on either side? The more I thought about it, the more I was leaning toward a smaller cabinet. I thought it would open up the wall, as it was a solid "counter against tub wall against shower stall," with no break in the visual line. Adding about six inches on either side of the vanity would make the sink look almost like a cabinet set against the wall.

I found a nice one online, reasonably priced, that looked like a sideboard, and it was finished in a nice cinnamon color, which fit in with our new paint and flooring. He was resistant at first, but the more I gently explained it (instead of going with my first instinct to pout and stomp my foot), the more he started to come around. I was quite proud of myself for finding a solution that we could both agree on AND that didn't cost half our budget. Go me! All that HGTV is paying off!

But then I started second-guessing myself - what if this doesn't look like what I have pictured? What if we install it and it's ugly? What if he hates it? He's trusted me with this, and now I'va failed, so I won't have any more say about paint color or flooring! He's going to resent me every time he brushes his teeth, we won't be able to move past this, and then we're going to break up! (I might be a bit dramatic, but you get the point).

In the end, we decided to take out the top drawers so we can just put the new double-bowl sink on there. We have plenty of storage even without the drawers. I agreed, it saves money and time, and the vanity that's in there is fine for now.

But! If we do further upgrades, we'll use my idea! So hopefully it's still in style when we can afford to do the rest of the upgrades.

Tell me your decorating stories....

Candlelight

2008-10-14T08:16:00.000-07:00

On November 23, 2008, please join us for a candlelight memorial to mark the one-year anniversary. Click the link for more information.

Also, feel free to post the button on your website. Isn't it fabulous? Jaelithe did it, she's so awesome.

Thanks for your support, prayers and cyber-hugs through this.

She's Crafty

2008-10-07T13:17:00.000-07:00

Here's a Duh! statement - weddings are expensive. I'm willing to pay for some things - a nice dress, an open bar- but we can save some money in other areas by doing it ourselves.

I have decided to design and print my own Save the Date cards and wedding programs. We're going to have our invitations professionally done, simply because they're really not that expensive on their own, and I just adore my invitation design. I went to Paperandmore.com. This is a great site, very user friendly, and I was able to order as many samples as I wanted for $1 shipping. Bonus!

I'm also toying with the idea of doing silk flowers for me and my bridesmaids, but having fresh for Craig and his groomsmen. I think silk flowers can still be classy, and I get to keep my bouquet.

Our reception place has included basic decorations in our package price, so we'll probably go with those. I am still looking in the meantime, and if I find something that's an awesome price for 30 of them, I may snap it up. Otherwise, I'll save the money and go with the basics.

I don't know if we'll do wedding favors or not. Do people expect these?

What are some things you saved on by doing them yourself?

Meet the Maids - BFF Lynn

2008-09-23T11:11:00.000-07:00

Now that my wedding line-up is complete, it's time for you to meet the players. We're going to start with BFF Lynn for several reasons - she's the tallest, I've known her the longest, and we're going in alphabetical order.

Lynn Marie Andrews - what do I say about Lynn?

We met over 15 years ago, a few months before she was getting ready to marry her husband, Brian. We instantly bonded because of our similar sense of humor, our snarky comments, and our talent for standing on a chair and singing Bohemian Rhapsody. We both had young children - her son, Christopher, was a year younger than Jessica - and we both had Air Force spouses.

At the encouragement of some mutual friends, we (and our husbands) joined a bowling league and bowled together every Sunday. Lynn and I even became pregnant at the same time and bowled together pregnant. We did better then, although we don't believe it had anything to do with the fact we weren't drinking.

We later bowled together on a different league, without the husbands. Our team was usually in last place - we were there for the night out away from children and husbands, and the alcohol. Don't get me wrong, Lynn is pretty good bowler. Just don't ask her to hold your keys.

One night after bowling we went to a bar just up the street. We left my car at the bowling alley and she drove us in her spanking new Mercury Villager. You could always hear her coming - she's the mom-mobile blasting Def Leppard.

We had a good time but finally it was time to go. We headed out to the van and she's digging in her purse for her keys. No luck. She pats her pants pockets - nothing. We peer in the van's windows but can't see them in the ignition. We go back inside and comb the bar floor - nothing. She thinks she may have dropped them in the floor thinking they'd landed in her purse. I called an O'Fallon cop I knew to come unlock her van doors. While we were waiting, we went back in the bar for a beer, and we looked all over again, even went to people and asked them if they'd found any keys. No luck.

My friend shows up, opens the van, we thank him profusely, and climb in the van.

We tore it apart and still no keys. What. The. Hell.

We decide to walk back to the bowling alley to get my car, head to her house, and get her spare set of keys. Of course it was dark by now, and we had to walk by a corn field. It was kind of spooky, so we had fun freaking out each other with Children of the Corn stories.

Back at the bowling alley, I used their phone (we didn't have cell phones back in those days) and called my husband and left him a message on the machine that I was running late, Lynn had lost her keys, and I'd be home soon. I figured he'd already gone to bed, so if he got up and I wasn't home, he'd see the blinking light on the phone.

We get to her house and try to quietly go in the front door. They had hardwood floors and we had on boots. Not a good combination for stealth. She goes to the kitchen and starts rummaging through the junk drawer while saying "Shhhhh! Brian's asleep!!" She can't find them in the junk drawer so she goes to the bedroom. I hear her say "No! Don't get up! Kim's out there and you're in your underwear!"

Brian gives her the spare set, and we head back to the bar. She apologizes profusely, fires up the van and heads home. I do the same.

The next morning, I receive an email from her with the subject line "Don't Kill Me....". Apparently the keys? Were in her pocket. The ENTIRE EFFING TIME. She was wearing her "mom jeans" and the keys had slid over in the corner of the pocket. When she got home and took off her pants, they made a "ka-ching" sound when they hit the floor. Brian asked "is that what I think it is?" She could only laugh.

Meanwhile, I got my butt chewed out for coming home late. When I pointed out I'd left him a message, and he said "no you didn't," I suggested he check the answering machine next time. I got quite a nice apology after he realized he was mistaken.

We enjoy teasing each other about the goofy things we've done. Lord knows if we didn't have our senses of humor, we'd have nothing.

She's had her share of heartbreak, marital woes, family drama and general crap. Through it all she's maintained her class, dignity and ability to laugh about it...eventually.

Lynn has been my rock. Through thick and thin, good and bad, times when we talked daily and times when we almost lost touch, she's been there. She's an awesome mom, a beautiful person and a blessing I thank God for.

Can You Come to My Pity Party?

2008-09-17T11:21:00.001-07:00

This isn't really wedding-related, but it does involve the dearly beloved and flowers, so I figured I post it over here. Plus I haven't had a lot of news to put here. I didn't want you thinking I'd run off to Vegas. Who does that?

I'm having a bad day. I believe the technical term is "suck-ass-crappy-never should have gotten out of bed" day.

I did something totally boneheaded this morning, in front of hubby-to-be. It's bad enough when you screw up, but when you've got witnesses, especially of the "around you 24/7 to remind you how stupid you are" variety - well, that's never a good thing. Suffice it to say no one was harmed or killed as a result of my stupidity.

After the dust settled from my idiocy, I went to work. A litany of petty little stupid things started compounding on top of the stellar beginning to my day. I could sense the fuse to the powder keg sparking to life. Honestly. I could feel the pressure building in my chest and had to fight the urge to override the synapse between my brain and mouth, simply to avoid adding to the list of accomplishments piling up in the Dumbass column of my life.

I made it through to lunch, and decided instead of working out, I'd get outside, soak up some sunshine and fresh air, and try to shake this mood.

Helpful hint - if you are ever in a bad mood and hungry, don't go to a fast food restaurant. Buck up and call a restaurant for a carry-out. I should have gotten a salad at Gitto's but noooo, I was craving cheese and grease. 14 minutes after ordering, I got my food. The place had no ice in the soda machine either, by the way.

I went over to Kiener and watched fighter jets fly by. At first I thought we were under attack, which would have been the cherry on my ice-cream-sundae kinda day. I think they were just practicing for the air show this weekend. So I thought I'd get some pictures, because you don't see fighter jets flying over downtown every day. Talk about an exercise in futility. By the time I heard them, they'd zipped by and after 5 or 6 frustrating attempts, I gave up. I did finally get one shot of them, and the plane looks like a black dot in the sky. Photography is not my calling.

During lunch, I snapped at dearly beloved over stupid stuff. Kudos to him for showing remarkable restraint in not thumping me in the forehead like I deserved.

Finally, I said to myself, "Self, shit happens, get over yourself. Put on your big-girl panties and get on with it."

I decided instead of spreading my gloom and doom, I'd spread love and cheer. If I couldn't feel better, I could at least make someone else feel good. On the way back to work, I stopped at the florist and picked up bouquets of daisies for the ladies in my department. You know what? It felt good to give them the flowers and say "here you go. No reason, just enjoy." My heart grew three sizes today. (Sorry, bad Grich reference).

I'm going to continue to spread the sunshine and fairy dust here - to all my readers, thanks for reading. Thanks for your comments. Thanks for your support, well wishes, and cyberhugs.

Here are your flowers (albeit virtual). Surrounding the flowers are three very important reasons why I keep on keeping on.

(Jim Edmonds is in there but he's a Cub and that's another rant for another day).

Update

2008-09-11T13:48:00.001-07:00

Hi there. Just a few updates on the wedding plans. Things are going well.

*I found "the dress." Oh, it's gorgeous. I got goosebumps when I saw myself in the mirror. Wanna see it? Email me and I'll send you a picture.

*The other details are progressing along fine. We're looking at tuxes and photographers right now. We've picked out some invitations that we like, and we're working on the guest list.

*I'm going to be a model in a bridal show next Thursday. I'll post more details as I get them.

*Oh, and we're trying to buy a house. Because we're not busy enough. Oy.

Just a Bite

2008-09-04T11:41:00.000-07:00

Craig and I and his parents went to a tasting event at our wedding reception venue last night. It was, in a word, fabulous.

We were treated to a fashion show, got to meet with lots of vendors, and see the rooms set up in all their finery. The venue hosts a dinner once a month so you can see just what they have to offer as far as food, DJ, decorations, service, etc. It's like a reception, just without the dancing. They even had waiters passing appetizers, which helped us decide we definitely need the coconut shrimp as one of our offerings. The bacon-wrapped shrimp - not so much. I kept waiting for the chicken quesadilla girl to come back but alas, it was not to be.

We enjoyed a sit-down dinner of spinach and strawberry salad with poppyseed dressing, followed by Beef Wellington, crispy chicken in alfredo sauce, mashed potatoes with shallots, sage, cream and butter, and grilled asparagus The beef was delicious, the chicken was okay, the potatoes were scrumptious and I don't eat asparagus. We decided that we wouldn't have the spinach salad - it was delicious, but I don't want pictures of me and my guests picking seeds out of our teeth.

The highlight (0ther than the open bar) was the 6 different kinds of MacArthur's cake they offered at the end of the meal. Craig's mom and I went to get some, and I choose lemon and vanilla bean. She chose a chocolate layer cake, and mocha cheesecake. Oh. My. Gawd. Each and every one was fantastically sinfully delicious. After our huge dinner, and having just a bite of each one, I was stuffed. The lemon was definitely my favorite.

I'm glad that we went and got to sample the food and see the rooms set up as they will be for our reception. One less detail to worry about.

The Flip Side

2008-08-29T07:30:00.001-07:00

Newlywed Melody recently wrote this article for ToastedRav.com about divorce parties. My friend, Tawnya, threw a fantastic spa party for all the ladies who helped her through her not-so-fun divorce. I was invited and we had a great time.

Have you ever been to or even hosted a divorce party?

It's Official

2008-08-26T13:31:00.001-07:00

We just put down the deposit for the ceremony and reception. (And by "we," I mean my darling betrothed gave me his credit card and I took care of the paperwork).

No turning back now.

The Devil Is In The Details

2008-08-25T11:29:00.000-07:00

In planning a wedding, what order do you choose your details? Obviously, the bling comes first, but then what?

Do you start with the dress? But what if you don't have a church wedding, what if you want to do an outdoor wedding? Then you probably shouldn't have a 20-foot train, unless you hire some train-carriers. I haven't seen an ad for those on The Knot.

Now the colors. Is there a grace period to using color someone else used recently? Is there a grace period to use aqua?

Do you choose your attendants first, then pick a color that looks good on them? Or at least doesn't make them appear pastier than normal?

Do you pick unattractive friends as your attendants, so you look even better? (Not that I have ugly friends.)

Do you pick the food based on your tastes, or what you think 250 people would like? What if someone doesn't like chicken? Or green beans? Do you leave them take out menus on the buffet?

Music? What should be the first dance? Obviously this wouldn't be the time to play Let's Get It On, right? How about Prince? Rump Shaker?

How much of a free bar do you give the alcoholics friends and family? Do you provide the bartender pictures of those who potentially may drink themselves into dancing to Rump Shaker?

How do you pick the cake flavors? What if someone has a nut allergy? Gluten allergies? Lactose intolerant? Just plain picky?

Speaking of allergies, how about flowers? Do you match your bouquet to the bridesmaids, just make it 6 times bigger, so as to remove ANY doubt as to who is in charge?

I guess what I'm saying is yes, we have a little over a year but sweet cracker sandwich there are a lot of details to decide, and they're all intertwined. You can't wait until three months before to find a place to hold your reception, or book your church. There are invitations to mail, menus to choose, flowers to order, dresses to diet into, the list goes on.

I'm just very glad I have five bottles of wine in my kitchen. Now my only decision is Pinot Grigio or Riesling.

The Wow Factor

2008-08-22T12:37:00.000-07:00

My friend and future SIL is getting married in February. She has been dress shopping for a while. I think she tried on pretty much every dress in the bi-state area, and I've been witness to several sessions. They all looked so pretty on her, but she kept saying "I don't feel that this is the One. I'm not getting Wow! from it." I didn't really get what she was saying, until yesterday.

I went dress shopping by myself. I had some ideas of what I wanted and didn't want, but I really wanted to try them on and see how they looked on me. Who knows, perhaps what looks good in the magazine won't translate on me. I can't imagine why. *eyeroll*

The first one, which I really liked online, did nothing for me. The next one was better, but I still wasn't feeling it. The consultant and I discussed changing the neckline, or adding some beading. I agreed that it might work, but I wanted to keep looking.

Based on my likes and dislikes, she brought me two other dresses. I had noticed them on the rack but had dismissed them as not having the design elements I was looking for. But I figured, she's the pro, I'll give them a chance.

The next one I tried on was a little closer to Wow. Although I was zipped in it so tight that might have been lack of oxygen. The neckline, beading, color, skirt shape were all combining in a way that was making me dismiss my original choices and start heading down this dress road.

The final dress was a strapless dress, but the consultant brought out a beaded strap and pinned it to the neckline. It really changed the look and the line of the dress, and my opinions of it as well. The skirt and beading on this one, with the neckline and the train - oh, now we're talking. I felt different somehow. Not in the fairy-tale princess way, but I felt elegant in this dress.

I still have a couple of other shops to visit before I make my final selection. Luckily I have until after the first of the year to decide (and to get in shape!). But I get the Wow Factor feeling now. Although I didn't get the full-on Wow, these two dresses are on the list.

NOTE - I won't be posting pictures of my dress on here for several reasons - the main one being that a certain groom reads this and I don't want him to see. Tradition, you know. However, if you must see, I might be persuaded to email you a picture.

Go Go Bridezilla!

2008-08-20T13:00:00.000-07:00

One thing I'm going to try NOT to do is become a bridezilla. I have heard of stories of brides treating their bridesmaids horribly, expecting them to be at her beck and call. I really hope I don't turn out to be one of those.

I would hope that the ladies I choose to stand up with me are the kinds of friends who won't hesitate to let me know when I'm crossing a line, perhaps by sending me this card:

The Wedding Binder

2008-08-19T11:15:00.000-07:00

The details we have so far:

Date: September 26, 2009

Colors - Sapphire and Platinum with Emerald accents.

Invitations - We have our style picked out

Dress: I'm wearing one.

Cake: We're having some. Chocolate for sure!

Tuxes: He's wearing a black one. I tried to talk him into the blue ruffled but no such luck.

That's all I need, right? ahahahahahaha, yeah, not so much.

I know we have a lot more to plan. So I created The Wedding Binder. And before you think I stole the idea from Monica on Friends, let me tell you that I had a binder with my second marriage in 1997, long before Monica and Chandler hooked up. So she stole the idea from me!

Ahem.

The Binder has category tabs, such as Cake, Calendar, Dress, Flowers, Reception, Venue, etc., all alphabetized and organized. As a rule, I'm not that organized, but there are soooo many details zinging around in my fevered brain that I have to put them somewhere or risk losing them forever.

It's nice and neat now, but give me a few months. It will be crammed full of loose papers, post-its and cryptic notes. Hopefully this blog will help me keep a handle on things too.

Let the mayhem commence!

Welcome!

2008-08-18T09:31:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Marriage 3.0. As you may have deduced from the title, this is my third foray into that institution. I'm sure if you asked my friends and family, they would agree I need an institution, although they're probably thinking something different.

Anyway, I decided to set up this blog to keep you posted on the wedding plans, so as not to muck up my daily blog with mundane details that some people might not care about. If you do want to know how things are going, pop over here occasionally and check it out.

Join me on my journey from Wow! to Vow! (Clever, huh?)