Meet the Maids - Tara

Way back when Jessica was in 6th grade, she was a cheerleader. I met Tara back then, as she was the assistant cheer coach. I didn't really get to know her, it was more of a "hi, I'm here to pick up Jessica" conversation. I always thought she was a fun, outgoing, sweet person, I just never got the chance to know her better.

Over the years, I'd see her around town, or at school functions. We had friends and acquaintances in common, but again, just never hooked up.

Fast forward seven years to when Kelli is in junior high and tries out for cheerleading. Imagine my surprise and delight when I realized Tara would be the assistant coach. We started talking more during practices and games, and at gymnastics. At the end of the year, when the current head coach decided she'd rather raise her babies, I encouraged Tara to apply for the position. I even wrote the school a letter about her. The school made the right decision and hired Tara as the head coach.

During the summer between Kelli's 7th and 8th grade years, I saw Tara quite a lot at various car washes and other fund raisers. We started to become good friends.

Tara's goal for the squad that year was for each girl to do a back handspring. Kelli never had any gymnastics training before being a cheerleader, and she was apprehensive about trying. Ok, she was scared. She was also the last girl to learn it. Tara pushed Kelli outside her comfort zone, but she did it in a way that was encouraging but yet didn't give Kelli the option of quitting.

Two weeks before Kelli died, I went to pick her up from gymnastics. Tara came running over to me and said "you've got to see this, she's so close to doing it!" The trainer was working with Kelli on her back handspring. If the trainer just held her arm behind Kelli, Kelli could throw her handspring. I watched her do one, two, three in a row with the trainer next to her. As soon as the trainer would move her arm out from behind her, Kelli would get scared and say "I can't!"

I called out to her, "I just watched you do three on your own!" The other girls start saying "Come on, Kelli, you can do it!" But now's she's embarrassed and I can sense that's she's about to cry. I told Tara, "Okay, we better back off, she's about to crack."

Tara walked over to her, put her arm around her, and said something in her ear. Kelli shook her head. Tara said something else, and I saw Kelli's face morph from bright red and freaked out to her huge smiling face. She looked at Tara, then they both looked at me, Tara gave me the thumbs up, so I returned it.

Kelli took a deep breath, closed her eyes, bent her knees, threw her hands up over her head, and I watched her throw that back handspring. The landing was a little shaky but she'd done it. All on her own.

The squad started cheering and hugging Kelli, and I was so proud of her. The rest of the girls could have been snarky and mean to Kelli since she couldn't do the handspring. But there they all were, celebrating Kelli's victory.

Tara had always preached the values of teamwork and support to those girls. Teenage girls can be hateful, and Tara never let them be that way to each other on her watch. She told them, you don't have to be best friends all the time, but when you are on that floor, when you're all in uniform, you are a team and teammates support each other.

She might have seemed strict with them at times, but she was teaching them that hard work and perseverance pays off. It's easy to quit but you don't accomplish anything that way. You never know what you can do until you try, and try again.

When Kelli died, Tara was among the core group that was with me at my house during those first few days. I remember her saying "You know Kelli is up there in Heaven, doing handsprings around Jessica!"

Kelli was lucky to have her as a coach, and I am lucky to have her as a friend.

Oh, what was the conversation Tara and Kelli had before she did her handspring? Tara promised Kelli I'd give her $20 if she did it. And yes, I happily paid it. And we went to Culver's for ice cream after practice. Because an accomplishment like that deserves hot fudge and sprinkles.

Well, Hello There.

Hi. Yes, I know, I've been very neglectful over here. But I've been BUSY, I promise!

However, in the next couple of months I'll be back in the wedding planning groove. According to The Knot, this month's to-dos include finalizing my guest list, meeting with my florist and officiant, and making a list of expectations from my attendants (ha!). To date there are 184 "to-dos" on my list and I've completed 29. However, it's not as bad as it sounds.

Luckily our venue is pretty much an all-inclusive place, so I don't have to find a cake, worry about decorations, hire a DJ or interview a wedding coordinator. I have decided on my dress and my attendants' dresses. We've decided on our invitations and flowers. Our guest list is pretty much done.

But for now, I'm enjoying my new house and the lack of stress over wedding details for now, because I know in about three months this calm demeanor will be no more.